Your Poetry Dot Com - the miserable dispair of love

My love was innocent, pure and true
you held out your hand and i gave it to you.
I gave you my heart without fear or concern-
you gave me your word and your love in return.
The deepest love and emotion i'd ever felt
was soon followed by bruises, bloody noses and welts.
Then came the lies, the deceit and the fear,
the endless nights and the tears.
yet still i loved you with all my heart-
i never imagined us being apart.
Brainwashed, controlled, you were my whole world
until the tragic day it all came unfurled.
i was alone and confused, i was nothing without you
my life for so long, you controlled my each move,
not long after came a hate i never felt-
as i remembered each bruise, each bloody nose, each welt,
each lie and each tear i cried.
but now years have past and there are no feelings left
no hate, no love, not even regret.

I came to you damaged and confused,
you put your arms around me and said "i love you"
your love was pure, innocent and real,
my love was dark, tainted and filled with fear.
You gave me your heart without fear or concern,
i filled it with empty promises and lies in return.
I put you through so much pain, a living hell.
The awful things i did i still can't bear to tell.
I never thought i'd feel more pain than the past had felt
but it broke my heart and hurt much worse to hurt somebody else
and to this very day your pain i can't forget-
it was my worst mistake and is my biggest regret.

When we met it was love at first sight,
we were both so alone and it felt so right.
I gave you what was left of my heart along with fear and concern-
you gave me what was left of yours and your baggage in return.
Our love was happy, healthy and normal,
until the day i started to crumble.
My past came back to haunt me and i started to feel fear
you tried so hard to catch me,
you tried to be right there,
but then your past came creeping up and you began to fall,
so there we lay, together on the floor, trying to help each other crawl.
We drove each other crazy with paranoia of broken hearts
and in the end, that was the cause, that's what tore us apart.

You were the one i knew all along,
before everything went so wrong.
You were the shoulder to which i cried
for each other we both would have died.
We grew up together and promised to be best friends forever,
through every broken heart we were there for each other.
But both of our lives spun out of control and i decided to move away,
we were both so lonely and desperate for love we said things we didn't mean to say.
You told me you loved me and i said the same.
We said we would grow old together someday.
We said our i love you's then said our goodbyes...
and that was the end,
i never saw or spoke to you again.
and the saddest thing is....
i didn't lose a love,
i lost my best friend.

It's been many years since i've given up on love,
but still i do get tired of-
the lonely nights,
but i know i'll be alright
because no pain can compare-
to the miserable dispair-
that love so sadly brings.

This poem is Copyright © lostindesire