Your Poetry Dot Com - A Troubled Mind

He was the comedian who cracked jokes and laughed
teachers hated him cause he was honest and dumb
but to the teachers hate he was completely numb
in the ocean of pain that was his childhood this was his raft
cause he had to develop this defense mechanism fast
his father left early, and his mom was brokenhearted
she would spew hurtful words that created a blast
and leave hole in his soul, and a sneaking feeling of being discarded
but all that was gone when he entered the classroom here he could make the entire class laugh
and get sent to the principles office at the same time
where the principle would yell and try to discipline him in front of the staff
as if he had commited an act of crime
all he wanted was to fill the holes in his soul
they didnt see why he constantly fled to the comedian role
why he would spend hours looking at a kitchen knife
before his mom would come home again
they didnt know he counted the pros and cons of ending his life
or maybe they did know somewhere deep within

and as he thinks back today, he can scream at the clouds endlessly
he is obsessed with blame, was it his fathers fault?
was it his mothers fault? well ofcourse the parents to some degree
but how does he make the pain come to a halt?
today he has become even more unstable
the knife is right in front on the table
a chance to finally decide the outcome
a wicked logic to some
an obivous solution to him
a decision is made on a whim
and as the last few bloodrops slide across the floor
his eyes closes and a smile dominates his face
the relief of burden from him not being anymore
now he is finally on to a better place

This poem is Copyright © zeberdee