Array
(
    [sid] => 177514
    [catid] => 1
    [aid] => mick
    [title] => My Life How It Sets
    [time] => 2014-01-02 21:15:59
    [hometext] => Written near the end of 2010. I'm 23 now. Happily married. A lot has changed.
    [bodytext] => I’m five again<br />
the wind is blowing my hair around<br />
there are no worries here<br />
there is only day and night<br />
yes my parents are arguing<br />
but that’s the last thing on my mind<br />
I need only air<br />
and my sisters<br />
and my own sense of control to survive<br />
<br />
I’m nine again<br />
my curiosity leans toward new things<br />
I take my anger out on others<br />
to mask my true feelings<br />
I hate wearing glasses<br />
I love my friends at school<br />
they are my escape<br />
from the real life of my family<br />
that has started to unfurl<br />
<br />
I’m twelve again<br />
it’s been one year since my parents’ issues<br />
have completely settled in my head<br />
I don’t completely understand<br />
but it’s enough to make me hate my dad<br />
the same man who used to pick me up<br />
and walk me on the ceiling<br />
the same man who used to throw me on the bed as hard as he can<br />
hoping not to hurt me<br />
but I’d come back screaming,<br />
“again, daddy, again!”<br />
<br />
I’m thirteen again<br />
it’s amazing what one year can do to you<br />
my life is black and night<br />
and razors and fright<br />
I take my emotions out on myself<br />
I cut deeper and longer<br />
I don’t want any help<br />
people are scared of me<br />
looking back I’d be scared of me too<br />
but at thirteen there’s only so much you can do<br />
my pain went ignored<br />
I didn’t care<br />
I covered it up so no one would stare<br />
I didn’t mind talking about it<br />
I just didn’t want it said<br />
how’s that for a teen everyone thinks is ***** up in the head?<br />
<br />
I’m fifteen again<br />
a sophomore<br />
still have the same issues and doubt in the world<br />
smoking drinking and pot galore<br />
these are my new escapes<br />
among a few more<br />
I don’t care what’s happening around me<br />
I’m invincible as far as I can see<br />
my only weakness is my heart<br />
I try to push it all into art<br />
but it’s not enough<br />
I have the unstoppable urge to be touched<br />
my first true love broke my heart<br />
and left a deep<br />
dark<br />
ever growing mark<br />
I hated everything about me<br />
and I hated everyone else<br />
I devilled deeper and deeper <br />
in an attempt to distract myself<br />
<br />
I’m eighteen again<br />
the last couple of years were spent mainly alone<br />
with a sack of weed<br />
I’ve been living out of my car<br />
staying here and there to sleep<br />
I got my first job and my pockets are crammed with a few bucks<br />
I want nothing more than to leave<br />
and never come back<br />
once I start contemplating this very seriously<br />
I have my plan down and everything<br />
this guy comes out of no where and sweeps me off my feet<br />
I’ve known him forever<br />
we went to high school together<br />
he graduated one year before me<br />
and we went our own ways<br />
something brought us back together after that long year<br />
maybe it was fate?<br />
he took me in his arms<br />
and showed me that there’s something worth living for<br />
there’s always something more<br />
<br />
I’m twenty now<br />
I’m still with this guy who makes me breathless sometimes<br />
we work on cars together<br />
and play video games<br />
we pay our rent and whatever else needs to be<br />
we’ll take random vacations<br />
that last a few days at a time<br />
he holds me tight when I want to cry<br />
he’s just so wonderful<br />
he’s changed my life<br />
everything else here is okay too<br />
I haven’t cut myself in a couple of years<br />
I’m still known to chill and have a few beers<br />
all of the stuff I’ve been through is all in the past<br />
life’s just too short<br />
it goes by so fast<br />
so when I turn twenty one and every year after<br />
I’ll hold everything to heart<br />
and cherish it forever.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />

<font size="1"color="red"><b>
acidicblasphemy, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems by our other authors for each one you submit. 
<br />
<br />
    [comments] => 2
    [counter] => 80
    [topic] => 21
    [informant] => acidicblasphemy
    [notes] => 
    [ihome] => 0
    [alanguage] => english
    [acomm] => 0
    [haspoll] => 0
    [pollID] => 0
    [score] => 0
    [ratings] => 0
    [editpoem] => 1
    [associated] => 
    [topicname] => Lifepoems
)
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                                                            <b>My Life How It Sets</b>
                                                        </font><br>
                                                        <font class="tiny"><b>Date:</b> Thursday, 2nd January 2014 @ 09:15:59 PM AEST<br><b>Topic:</b> Sad Poetry</font><br><br>
                                                        <font class="content">Contributed By: acidicblasphemy<br><br>
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                                                    <font class="content">
                                                       I’m five again<br />
the wind is blowing my hair around<br />
there are no worries here<br />
there is only day and night<br />
yes my parents are arguing<br />
but that’s the last thing on my mind<br />
I need only air<br />
and my sisters<br />
and my own sense of control to survive<br />
<br />
I’m nine again<br />
my curiosity leans toward new things<br />
I take my anger out on others<br />
to mask my true feelings<br />
I hate wearing glasses<br />
I love my friends at school<br />
they are my escape<br />
from the real life of my family<br />
that has started to unfurl<br />
<br />
I’m twelve again<br />
it’s been one year since my parents’ issues<br />
have completely settled in my head<br />
I don’t completely understand<br />
but it’s enough to make me hate my dad<br />
the same man who used to pick me up<br />
and walk me on the ceiling<br />
the same man who used to throw me on the bed as hard as he can<br />
hoping not to hurt me<br />
but I’d come back screaming,<br />
“again, daddy, again!”<br />
<br />
I’m thirteen again<br />
it’s amazing what one year can do to you<br />
my life is black and night<br />
and razors and fright<br />
I take my emotions out on myself<br />
I cut deeper and longer<br />
I don’t want any help<br />
people are scared of me<br />
looking back I’d be scared of me too<br />
but at thirteen there’s only so much you can do<br />
my pain went ignored<br />
I didn’t care<br />
I covered it up so no one would stare<br />
I didn’t mind talking about it<br />
I just didn’t want it said<br />
how’s that for a teen everyone thinks is ***** up in the head?<br />
<br />
I’m fifteen again<br />
a sophomore<br />
still have the same issues and doubt in the world<br />
smoking drinking and pot galore<br />
these are my new escapes<br />
among a few more<br />
I don’t care what’s happening around me<br />
I’m invincible as far as I can see<br />
my only weakness is my heart<br />
I try to push it all into art<br />
but it’s not enough<br />
I have the unstoppable urge to be touched<br />
my first true love broke my heart<br />
and left a deep<br />
dark<br />
ever growing mark<br />
I hated everything about me<br />
and I hated everyone else<br />
I devilled deeper and deeper <br />
in an attempt to distract myself<br />
<br />
I’m eighteen again<br />
the last couple of years were spent mainly alone<br />
with a sack of weed<br />
I’ve been living out of my car<br />
staying here and there to sleep<br />
I got my first job and my pockets are crammed with a few bucks<br />
I want nothing more than to leave<br />
and never come back<br />
once I start contemplating this very seriously<br />
I have my plan down and everything<br />
this guy comes out of no where and sweeps me off my feet<br />
I’ve known him forever<br />
we went to high school together<br />
he graduated one year before me<br />
and we went our own ways<br />
something brought us back together after that long year<br />
maybe it was fate?<br />
he took me in his arms<br />
and showed me that there’s something worth living for<br />
there’s always something more<br />
<br />
I’m twenty now<br />
I’m still with this guy who makes me breathless sometimes<br />
we work on cars together<br />
and play video games<br />
we pay our rent and whatever else needs to be<br />
we’ll take random vacations<br />
that last a few days at a time<br />
he holds me tight when I want to cry<br />
he’s just so wonderful<br />
he’s changed my life<br />
everything else here is okay too<br />
I haven’t cut myself in a couple of years<br />
I’m still known to chill and have a few beers<br />
all of the stuff I’ve been through is all in the past<br />
life’s just too short<br />
it goes by so fast<br />
so when I turn twenty one and every year after<br />
I’ll hold everything to heart<br />
and cherish it forever.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />

<font size="1"color="red"><b>
acidicblasphemy, PLEASE: To help keep this site INTERACTIVE, please read and comment on at least 3 poems by our other authors for each one you submit. 
<br />
<br />                                                        <br>
                                                        <br>This poem is Copyright © acidicblasphemy<br><br>
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