Array
(
    [sid] => 65752
    [catid] => 1
    [aid] => mick
    [title] => Saved In Purgatory
    [time] => 2004-10-01 00:54:28
    [hometext] => Sorry for The Length I hope you enjoy
    [bodytext] => There before me is a knife<br />
I pick it up and start to slice<br />
Slashing away at the pain inside<br />
Wanting to leave this world behind<br />
Tired of feeling so alone<br />
Cutting away straight to the bone<br />
The blood starts to spill out from my arm<br />
Why am I causing so much harm?<br />
Why can&#8217;t I escape the pain?<br />
Why do I feel like I am to blame?<br />
I feel my eyes growing heavy as I start to slip <br />
Back and forth from dark to light losing my grip<br />
I have always known I would die <br />
By my hand or the role of the dice<br />
What is killing me most is in my mind<br />
Living a life you cannot rewind<br />
Walking through life with a soul of stone<br />
Never having a place that feels like home<br />
When words lose all meaning and the world its charms<br />
Screaming for death but no one hears the alarm<br />
Finally I am bled dry, I stop, and regain my grip<br />
There is nothing to hold nothing to make me slip<br />
Everything is dark I have reached the end<br />
I look around and am alone again<br />
I start to wonder off and finally see someone else<br />
I start counting from one to twelve<br />
Twelve souls have come here just like me<br />
Twelve souls that were never given a chance to be<br />
And never let in Pease to find solace or closure<br />
Twelve who spent every hardship of life turning to self torture<br />
So I start to walk down this path that I was put in front<br />
Walking alone through hell is not a very smart stunt<br />
I want to walk this path until the end but I see something<br />
What can be in this hell brightly shining and comforting<br />
I stray from this path and head to the light<br />
Will what I see be beautiful or fill me with fright<br />
Do you see what I see in the distance? <br />
I see a girl I fell in love with at first glance<br />
A girl who befriended and then I loved and never told<br />
Some one I never got the chance to hold<br />
A beautiful soul that took her own life<br />
A soul whose death filled my life with strife<br />
I am going to her no matter what I have to let her know<br />
That I still cared for her after her scars took their toll<br />
And that I hated her for never telling me<br />
And for pushing me away from her side and never letting me be<br />
All the things I wanted to be for her<br />
I so wanted to change to world for the better<br />
Just to make it easier for her to be her self<br />
To let her be beautiful and charming like a dark elf <br />
Those that she loved so and admired <br />
Those she drew with hair like fire<br />
I am going to her now or I will never suffer in Pease<br />
I am going after her running faster and faster<br />
Like I have never ran before just faster and faster<br />
I am running without stopping but this feels like forever<br />
I am running as fast as I can but she only gets further and further<br />
I step on a stone and fall the ground face first to the ground<br />
I feel so hopeless is she real is anyone around<br />
Do you feel what I feel someone warm hands lifting me<br />
Warm hands like a summer&#8217;s day when the wind lifted me freely<br />
It&#8217;s her she&#8217;s so beautiful saving me now as she did in life<br />
She always made me feel like I could fly<br />
But still I never told her how I really felt now I wear it on my wrist<br />
I want to say I am sorry but I cannot speak can&#8217;t even whisper it <br />
She smiling at me and I am feeling better <br />
She&#8217;s moving her hand around me and she has wings that begin to flutter<br />
I hold her in my eyes and arms and will always in my memories <br />
Is this real or just another one of my reveries <br />
If it is I never want to wake<br />
This dream of her I never want to shake<br />
We part and she closes my eyes<br />
Tells me I saved her again and it&#8217;s not my time to die<br />
I open my eyes not wanting to <br />
Not knowing what to do<br />
And I look to the table <br />
And as something out of a fable<br />
There before me is a knife<br />
I drop to my knees and begin to cry
    [comments] => 3
    [counter] => 145
    [topic] => 21
    [informant] => Doriens_Picture
    [notes] => 
    [ihome] => 0
    [alanguage] => english
    [acomm] => 0
    [haspoll] => 0
    [pollID] => 0
    [score] => 5
    [ratings] => 1
    [editpoem] => 1
    [associated] => 
    [topicname] => Lifepoems
)
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                                                            <b>Saved In Purgatory</b>
                                                        </font><br>
                                                        <font class="tiny"><b>Date:</b> Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 12:54:28 AM AEST<br><b>Topic:</b> Sad Poetry</font><br><br>
                                                        <font class="content">Contributed By: Doriens_Picture<br><br>
                                                        </font>
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                                                    <font class="content">
                                                       There before me is a knife<br />
I pick it up and start to slice<br />
Slashing away at the pain inside<br />
Wanting to leave this world behind<br />
Tired of feeling so alone<br />
Cutting away straight to the bone<br />
The blood starts to spill out from my arm<br />
Why am I causing so much harm?<br />
Why can&#8217;t I escape the pain?<br />
Why do I feel like I am to blame?<br />
I feel my eyes growing heavy as I start to slip <br />
Back and forth from dark to light losing my grip<br />
I have always known I would die <br />
By my hand or the role of the dice<br />
What is killing me most is in my mind<br />
Living a life you cannot rewind<br />
Walking through life with a soul of stone<br />
Never having a place that feels like home<br />
When words lose all meaning and the world its charms<br />
Screaming for death but no one hears the alarm<br />
Finally I am bled dry, I stop, and regain my grip<br />
There is nothing to hold nothing to make me slip<br />
Everything is dark I have reached the end<br />
I look around and am alone again<br />
I start to wonder off and finally see someone else<br />
I start counting from one to twelve<br />
Twelve souls have come here just like me<br />
Twelve souls that were never given a chance to be<br />
And never let in Pease to find solace or closure<br />
Twelve who spent every hardship of life turning to self torture<br />
So I start to walk down this path that I was put in front<br />
Walking alone through hell is not a very smart stunt<br />
I want to walk this path until the end but I see something<br />
What can be in this hell brightly shining and comforting<br />
I stray from this path and head to the light<br />
Will what I see be beautiful or fill me with fright<br />
Do you see what I see in the distance? <br />
I see a girl I fell in love with at first glance<br />
A girl who befriended and then I loved and never told<br />
Some one I never got the chance to hold<br />
A beautiful soul that took her own life<br />
A soul whose death filled my life with strife<br />
I am going to her no matter what I have to let her know<br />
That I still cared for her after her scars took their toll<br />
And that I hated her for never telling me<br />
And for pushing me away from her side and never letting me be<br />
All the things I wanted to be for her<br />
I so wanted to change to world for the better<br />
Just to make it easier for her to be her self<br />
To let her be beautiful and charming like a dark elf <br />
Those that she loved so and admired <br />
Those she drew with hair like fire<br />
I am going to her now or I will never suffer in Pease<br />
I am going after her running faster and faster<br />
Like I have never ran before just faster and faster<br />
I am running without stopping but this feels like forever<br />
I am running as fast as I can but she only gets further and further<br />
I step on a stone and fall the ground face first to the ground<br />
I feel so hopeless is she real is anyone around<br />
Do you feel what I feel someone warm hands lifting me<br />
Warm hands like a summer&#8217;s day when the wind lifted me freely<br />
It&#8217;s her she&#8217;s so beautiful saving me now as she did in life<br />
She always made me feel like I could fly<br />
But still I never told her how I really felt now I wear it on my wrist<br />
I want to say I am sorry but I cannot speak can&#8217;t even whisper it <br />
She smiling at me and I am feeling better <br />
She&#8217;s moving her hand around me and she has wings that begin to flutter<br />
I hold her in my eyes and arms and will always in my memories <br />
Is this real or just another one of my reveries <br />
If it is I never want to wake<br />
This dream of her I never want to shake<br />
We part and she closes my eyes<br />
Tells me I saved her again and it&#8217;s not my time to die<br />
I open my eyes not wanting to <br />
Not knowing what to do<br />
And I look to the table <br />
And as something out of a fable<br />
There before me is a knife<br />
I drop to my knees and begin to cry                                                        <br>
                                                        <br>This poem is Copyright © Doriens_Picture<br><br>
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