Your Poetry Dot Com - This Is How It's Been For Me

“This Is How It’s Been For Me” - by J. Samuelson Copyright©2001 01/31

I’m screaming for a reason
No one seems to hear me
I’m all alone as always
The darkness choking in on me

Surrounded on all sides it seems
The walls are coming down on me
I’m crumbling into lost pieces
Of all that I used to be

Nothing makes any good sense
Love is always out of my reach
Always something stopping it
It never seems to agree with me

I give it always if I feel it
It never seems to be returned
When it has been, it’s been so complicated
By things beyond my control

I’ve only wanted a true love
One that goes both ways between
One that is right and possible
One that could give me my life back

I’ve waited, and I’ve found it
One that left before it really began
Now one that is just so unlikely
Where is the one I deserve?

Am I floating in some dream world
Where it’s maybe to never be?
It could be it’s not meant for me
I am just to face this reality?

It seems the more that I try
The less I ever seem to achieve
Maybe I’m destined to fail in love
Someday, I’ll reflect and I’ll know.

But I hate being so alone sometimes
I know I have so much love to share
Maybe I’m not allowed to give it
It always blows up in my face

I never seem to do things right
It always backfires for me
But when I have found something good
Again, it ends because of me

Why am I cursed for a life time?
Why does love have to hate me?
I always am giving in to it
It only seems to shut me out

Maybe my heart is defective
Meant to give, and never receive
That’s what I am beginning to believe
This Is How It’s Been For Me

Love is only ever a disaster
I maybe just try to give too much
It’s only being the way I am
This Is How It’s Been For Me.

I might have to build my own shelter
And learn to keep myself in it
I’m feeling so hexed in my love life
This Is How It’s Been For me.

This poem is Copyright Â© Joker17