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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 01:58:38 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 100502
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Dark Citadel I Keep
[time] => 2005-07-07 22:30:18
[hometext] => This is the story of how my ex-boyfriend threw me away and my closest guy-friend picked up the pieces
[bodytext] => So dark a secret I keep I forgave him and because of this I weep Twice he deceived me and yet I am to blame My most secret thoughts were why I was framed A love that was only half there Of the true distraction I was aware My heart withered as my secret grew He grew distant from me and I feared he knew Then I found he was unaware of my secret shame I found that he was in fact playing a more risky game 'I told her I loved her but don’t worry it’s not true' 'The only one I love is you' A crack grew in my heart and I forgave him My guilt was heavy so I obeyed his every whim I grew afraid I would say another name On the phone I would make up excuses that were lame All I wanted was to hear that secret voice, the one I listened to in vain My guilt and the hurt from the first forgiveness nearly drove me insane Then came the second hurt the second twist of the cruel knife Again I forgave him wishing for a different life He had kissed her… That’s when I knew it was not I that he preferred I sank deeper into my secret digging for the feeling I craved Hoping soon I might be saved I waited by the phone not for his calls, but for another’s Unfortunately both of them were friends like brothers I craved his voice in my ears as an addict craves liquor I knew it was wrong and yet in his direction my eyes would flicker He was my friend and I dared not cross that line I knew that my boyfriend was not that blind At night I cried while he was asleep I never told anyone the secret I keep Then there was that day so calm and quiet Yet I sat in my room weeping for inside my heart there was a riot Two hours late and he stayed in stony silence I feared he had learned of my heart’s defiance His face hardened and I knew today was the end Then he said it was over but we could still be friends I cried and my heart screamed And yet all I could think of was a small secret dream To be with my friends was my last request He would drive me to them as his final recompense Niki was busy and Megz was away And yet he was the one I wanted to choose anyway His eyes told me he knew when I told him my choice I could feel the betrayed sadness in his voice We came to my secret’s home Even with him in the car I still felt frightened and alone So angry was my secret but not angry with me He was angry at Bill because he had cheated on me He glowered in the back as I stared at passing trees Tears blurred my vision until I could no longer see He peeled out as he drove away Angry no doubt and I turned to my secret not knowing what to say We walked inside the west entrance of the mall As we mounted the escalator I wondered how high up it would take me to die from a fall And yet I looked over at him and knew that idea was not good at all We sat by a fountain and I cried feeling wounded and trapped Then he offered me comfort by allowing me to cry sitting in his lap Over and over again I asked him why And my secret would wipe away tears and ask me not to cry Finally a moment of silence came I looked into his deep brown eyes and wondered if he was thinking the same 'I don’t care anymore' and he quickly leaned in He kissed me and I kissed back, slowly I felt something warm in my heart begin He pulled away his eyes glittering, ablaze from his crime “I never believed you would ever actually be mine� Those words meant so much to me I finally felt my caged heart break free Never again, I promised, will I love another For to do so would be my worst plunder He agreed and said from now on not to be afraid Our two hearts were now linked with everything to say He will never leave; he will never throw me away In his heart I will always stay 'Not another tear will you cry' 'I promise you my love until the day I die' [comments] => 2 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 33 [informant] => Kitty06 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SecretLove )
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