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Array ( [sid] => 100817 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => fill [time] => 2005-07-10 22:47:20 [hometext] => ... plz comment........... jennie* [bodytext] => my eyes fill with tears
my heart fills with hate
my head fills with thoughts
visions i create
my spirit fills with doubt
my life fills with pain
my soul fills with struggle
only sorrow i gain
my palms fill with sweat
my face fills with red
my cuts fill with blood
a pointless life led
a tear on my cheek
a knife in my hand
this pain that i feel
you cant understand...
[comments] => 8 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 13 [informant] => blue_angel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

fill

Contributed by blue_angel on Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 10:47:20 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

my eyes fill with tears
my heart fills with hate
my head fills with thoughts
visions i create
my spirit fills with doubt
my life fills with pain
my soul fills with struggle
only sorrow i gain
my palms fill with sweat
my face fills with red
my cuts fill with blood
a pointless life led
a tear on my cheek
a knife in my hand
this pain that i feel
you cant understand...

Copyright © blue_angel ... [ 2005-07-10 22:47:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 11:05:55 PM AEST
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i thought the format and rhyming style were great.

i love the desrpitions and emotions too.

wizard

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by Arden on Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 11:14:54 PM AEST
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this poem weeps with saddness.
its very emotional and deep.
good rhyme and expression.
5/5
-Arden

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by vampyrekiss on Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 12:33:53 AM AEST
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this is really good :) lots of emotion and what not :)

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by hellsfallenangel on Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 10:21:15 AM AEST
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it very good but sad to i like it alot well tu for the read bye

DEMON A.K.A ABBADON

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 12:24:12 PM AEST
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aww... good write, jennie! but i don't want you to hurt yourself! i hate that. please remember that i always have 2 shoulders open that you can cry on. please don't hurt yourself! but it was a great write! i like the words and rhymes. very well put together, keep up the good work!

~shelly

p.s. wishinbg jennie the best of luck!

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 04:45:58 PM AEST
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This is such a sad sad poem, yet the words are so hunting. Cool poem i enjoyed it a lot.

Jane xxx

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 01:12:17 AM AEST
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WOW These thoughts that fill you gave you this brilliant write, this wonderful release. I loved the way you wrote this and the way you expressed yourself. I knew a girl like this once a very long time ago. Keep writing. It heals. Much peace to you. Laura

Re: fill (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 09:32:07 PM AEST
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your pain is VERY evident..
(thoughts and prayers to you jennie-)

a little much with the "fills" and the "my's"
It could've been a little more descriptive..

also..broken up into 3 or 4 stanzas..
I think it may have had a softer flow..

(I don't usually critique..but you asked)

Happiness to you jennie-

M.O.H.

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