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Array
(
[sid] => 101216
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Blame Myself
[time] => 2005-07-14 21:05:34
[hometext] => This poem is about what happened to me when I was a little girl (It's still hard for me to come right out and say it) and I'd like to dedicate it to Imagenuinefake, who inspired me to write about how I feel.
[bodytext] => If I'd known you were going to change me forever that I would wake up knowing it wasn't a dream If I could have seen into the future just a little bit or if I knew how it would feel to hold back a scream If I was less innocent or more aware of the world and it's carnal ways hadn't caught me off guard If I hadn't laughed so freely or lived so fully maybe if I hadn't played quite so hard Perhaps if I'd looked another way for acceptance or if I never felt like I had to fit in If I hadn't wanted to grow up so quickly maybe I wouldn't have had to go where I've been Maybe I could make it through one day without shame or maybe I'd be able to laugh with all my heart perhaps I could love with at least half of it or feel anything at all before falling apart Maybe I wouldn't have spent my life in depression because I wouldn't have bottled it all up inside maybe I wouldn't even feel this anger and hate and with no need for secrets, I would never have lied But at six years of age, you took all that from me and you left me with only nightmares still crying myself to sleep after all this time so far from the girl who had no cares Yet I can only find it in me to blame myself for causing this hurt, this hate, this shame and if I'd known then what I know now maybe this story wouldn't have ended the same [comments] => 3 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Unbreakable [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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