Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	02-June 14:07:33 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 101966 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Just Give In [time] => 2005-07-23 23:46:29 [hometext] => *This is how i seem to feel lately, im not sure i like the ending because i didnt know how to end it.* [bodytext] => I'm trapped in a body I swear isn't mine,
this girl has gone crazy she's losing her mind.

She hasn't slept in over two days,
everything has become a jummbled up haze.

She eats like a horse but hasn't gained a pound,
maybe she ought to try and slow down.

I tell her she's tierd, with twitching eyes,
but she pushes it aside like one of her lies.

She lies to her freinds with her everyday life,
and she never wants to become a wife.

Her hearing is going and her head always hurts,
if she doesn't sleep soon its going to burst.

Im trapped in a body I know isnt mine,
so I'll just give in and call it a night. [comments] => 8 [counter] => 285 [topic] => 6 [informant] => brokenandinlove16 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )

Just Give In

Contributed by brokenandinlove16 on Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:46:29 PM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry

I'm trapped in a body I swear isn't mine,
this girl has gone crazy she's losing her mind.

She hasn't slept in over two days,
everything has become a jummbled up haze.

She eats like a horse but hasn't gained a pound,
maybe she ought to try and slow down.

I tell her she's tierd, with twitching eyes,
but she pushes it aside like one of her lies.

She lies to her freinds with her everyday life,
and she never wants to become a wife.

Her hearing is going and her head always hurts,
if she doesn't sleep soon its going to burst.

Im trapped in a body I know isnt mine,
so I'll just give in and call it a night.

Copyright © brokenandinlove16 ... [ 2005-07-23 23:46:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by thepizzaguy on Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:52:21 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I think that once you crack open out of this new body, you'll be able to find out why you feel trapped. I hope the answer is something you find soon. I'm here if you need help breaking out of this person's body.

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by syenn0512 on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 12:08:23 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It takes time to discover who you really are and what you really want.. Good Luck

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by Kayden on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 12:15:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Good expresion. The only way you will find out why you are trpped is when you pray to God. Ask Him anything he knows the end from the begining. He will put you at rest. Then you will be free.

--Jimmy

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 12:50:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I know exactly how you feal ive fealt trapped before hope you feal better and Great write!

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 01:59:00 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I thought the ending was just fine..
(lest the lack of rhyme in the last 2 lines)
But no worries..

It had a great rhyming scheme overall
and you marshalled the ideas just as well..

I also like how you refer to yourself in the 3rd person:

"She hasn't slept in over two days,"
"She eats like a horse but hasn't gained a pound,"
"She lies to her freinds with her everyday life,"

All in all, a great write..

B

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by veenu on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 02:08:44 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

oh !!! when i read it
nice job keep sharing

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:16:07 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like your rhyming patterns here. Not a lot of people use it to great success, but you did it in one spectacular way. Thanks for sharing this.

Jane ~

Re: Just Give In (User Rating: 1 )
by Ravisada on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 08:28:56 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You have written well.
Hope you will feel better
Ravi

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com