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Array ( [sid] => 102227 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Unrelenting Waves [time] => 2005-07-28 23:56:41 [hometext] => this could have fallen under many different categories, maybe abuse would've been more appropriate...... [bodytext] =>

Such desolate eyes
as she stares at the ocean waves
crashing upon a large rock below
Eroding away at it's surface
little by little
with each thunderous blow

(Her empty gaze shifting only for a moment to look upon her arm)

and then swish
The wave gently subsiding
as if to say "I'm sorry I hurt you"
When in fact
the second and third blows
were hiding right behind the first
No remorse
No control

(A tear falling from her cheek as she touches her bruised face)

The only relief being the change of tide
Those few passing hours when the rock seemed to once again
tower over the semi-sleeping roar of the waves
that would again awaken
to beat down upon it's surface
Helpless to move
until eventually, nothing remains

(She sits with desolate eyes, staring at the waves,
unable to move, wondering if anyone will even notice
that she's already disappeared)

Copyright © CarolinaBlue 2005

[comments] => 10 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 32 [informant] => CarolinaBlue [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Unrelenting Waves

Contributed by CarolinaBlue on Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 11:56:41 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Such desolate eyes
as she stares at the ocean waves
crashing upon a large rock below
Eroding away at it's surface
little by little
with each thunderous blow

(Her empty gaze shifting only for a moment to look upon her arm)

and then swish
The wave gently subsiding
as if to say "I'm sorry I hurt you"
When in fact
the second and third blows
were hiding right behind the first
No remorse
No control

(A tear falling from her cheek as she touches her bruised face)

The only relief being the change of tide
Those few passing hours when the rock seemed to once again
tower over the semi-sleeping roar of the waves
that would again awaken
to beat down upon it's surface
Helpless to move
until eventually, nothing remains

(She sits with desolate eyes, staring at the waves,
unable to move, wondering if anyone will even notice
that she's already disappeared)

Copyright © CarolinaBlue 2005

Copyright Â© CarolinaBlue ... [ 2005-07-28 23:56:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by waos on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 12:07:13 AM AEST
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Oh golly, that was gorgeous, what an amazing vision and perception
of abuse. And you ended it beauitfully. I must say this a great poem.
I loved it.

~Kara~~Waos~

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by dreamer_4_eternity on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 12:38:01 AM AEST
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I loved how you related the abuse to the waves crashing against the rock... it was so beautiful and that is a way to see it that is so true, but not many others if any would notice... you truly have so much talent... and i will be praying for the best for you... never stop writing because you have so much potential and talent within you, this was an amazing piece.

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 02:30:48 AM AEST
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Oh Blue, this was one of the best poems I've read here tonight!! Great use of metaphors. I hope this is pure fiction.
Hugs
Jenni

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 04:30:28 AM AEST
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Hm this is a beautifull poem but I kind of thought up of a meaning for it, now I do not know if she is being abused and beatin by a guy but I sort of that that the ocean was saying Sorry I hurt you because she came there all because of the guy, if I am wrong then I do not know, that is just the explanation I came up with though, anyway a beautifull write.

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 05:01:43 AM AEST
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Excellently expressed write...I like the style you wrote this in too, and the comparision metaphor...I hope this isn't based on your reality, at least hopefully not your current reality...Please don't stick around if it is...you deserve much better. Well done on this write.

Scorp.

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:32:10 AM AEST
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Very creative write, with excellant use of metaphors. It does seem to portray one who was being abused, with some long term suffering. The style of the write really helped to clarify.....

Well done,

Will

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by PRECIOUSBECKY on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 05:26:06 PM AEST
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AND SHE WAS ME---- WONDERFULLY WRITTEN---- GREAT SYMBOLISM

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 02:48:28 PM AEST
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Very Good Blue.........you are a Master at letting your reader know just exactly what it is that you want us to know! The emotions come alive like the wave you used to illustrate for us, and a picture in our minds come forth, so vividly as if we ourselves are taking that blow! I was an adovate for the SafeHouse here for many years, and I can still see the "Nothinginness" in these poor ladies eyes when they tell us of those blows. And then it takes them 7 times on the average to leave these horrible monsters because they are so possessed by them. But one good thing is coming out finally. The judges are changing their tatics. They are finally siding with the victims, for there are woman that abuse also. They either go to "Anger management classes or straight to jail!!!" Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Warm love,
ConSue...............I hope this isn't you!!!!

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 12:28:02 AM AEST
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I was totaly taken away..
like watching an epic movie
in a short 30 seconds..

Your diction is remarkable Blue..
and your personification is like classic text:

"She sits with desolate eyes, staring at the waves,
unable to move, wondering if anyone will even notice
that she's already disappeared"

Magnificent..

B

Re: Unrelenting Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on Monday, 8th August 2005 @ 12:43:12 AM AEST
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Domestic abuse is so strange to me because the abused rarely ever leave. Why don't they get up and out? There is a whole world out there with help waiting. You analogy and imagery is outstanding. This topic and pedi abuse always makes me wonder how sick do these creatures really have to be? Yet nothing is done about it, and you can't tell me no one notices or hears anything. Rita

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