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Array
(
[sid] => 10251
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => On My Birthday
[time] => 2003-01-12 15:40:00
[hometext] => this, similar to three of my other poems is about my boyfriend and our "different" kind of relationship. the only thing is, this is a somewhat exact detail of what happened. (i'm not posting it for sympathy, i just want to warn whoever is going through this situation to get out early because it could lead toa situation like mine)
[bodytext] => On my birthday we were in a wide cut
Though there were lights, darkness fell over us I was so angry yet so ashamed You were angry too but I was still the one you blamed I wouldn’t let u go, no I wasn’t ready yet But I guess you got more mad and a trigger in your brain was set Then I saw the hate in your eyes and you kicked my shins so hard Next thing u know, I realize, that my head was about to hit the bars Luckily I guarded my face and then awkwardly forgot the rest Until I felt me drop to the floor and press my arms into my chest Then u kicked me again as if I were some ball I rose up into the night noticing not one tear fall I was hurting though Then out of nowhere, someone saw the scene Threatened to tell the police then all of a sudden there was a screen Between me and reality and I wanted to get away You still had my money but all I did was stay She said that I was pretty and that I could do much better But the more she talked, the more I thought my tears couldn’t get any wetter She told me she was in an abusive relationship it never got her anywhere And that no matter how many times I told you I loved you, you would never care I knew what she was saying I’ve felt it all before And just right when I started to relax, u came through the door And told me to come on, I couldn’t say no I looked in her eyes and tried to tell her I had to go Because if she was really in an abusive relationship she’d know what the consequences were So I just turned around and put my head down and my eyes fell into a blur Then there was security, rushing outside, asking if I was ok I looked at you then in their eyes and there was only one thing to say I was alright We walked a little further, then right next to our side Was a policeman on a bike, and security in a ride Then right in front of them, came a police car Through all of this, we weren’t going to get far The policeman called me over, as friendly as he could be He looked into my eyes and I hoped that he could see How badly I need to cry Because everything I said, damn near was a lie He asked me if u hit me, no u hurt me though He asked me if we’d work it out my watery eyes began to show He asked me if I was scared of you And If I had a way home He wondered if I was scared of what you’d do And if I didn’t want to walk all alone Then I put on a face and smiled and thanked him for his concern But I knew he felt the pain that I held and wondered when I was going to learn It’s no longer anyone’s fault but mine Because everyone tells me to leave but I’m acting like I’m blind You see, it’s not easy to say good-bye when you’re scared to make a mistake But I need to stop being blind and stop pretending that this is fake It’ll never go away As long as I stay Nothing will ever change you, then you’ll most likely leave me Then I’ll be the wrong one to stay, because nothing is all I’ll be I guess there’s nothing more, to u I have to say Just that all I wanted from u was a simple “happy birthday” [comments] => 2 [counter] => 151 [topic] => 39 [informant] => Poetic_Angel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
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