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Array ( [sid] => 102645 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Self-Infliction [time] => 2005-08-04 12:44:36 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I’ve just come to the realization
I’ve decided that it’s me
You haven’t done anything wrong
I’m just not yet ready to be free.

I hold on to that heartache
Tearing apart my mortal shell
Bringing down my inner walls
Forcing myself to live in this hell.

You aren’t the one hurting me
I’m doing it solely to myself
I’m sorry but I’m a masochist
I love endangering my life and health.

I don’t mind the pain
Most of the time it feels pretty good
People look at me insanely
If I wasn’t me, I would.

I see myself from the inside-out
I’m that outsider looking in
Seeing a heart that’s been torn to shreds
I gladly partake in this morbid sin.

Tearing apart my own rotting flesh
I smile at the thought of this loving ache
I swear to you I’ve chosen it myself
Just let me alone, for mine and your sake.

This nightmare has become a part of me
Overtaking my thoughts, encasing my soul
Without this blood streaming in my life
I will never again feel entirely whole. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 61 [informant] => BlindRomantic [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Self-Infliction

Contributed by BlindRomantic on Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 12:44:36 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

I’ve just come to the realization
I’ve decided that it’s me
You haven’t done anything wrong
I’m just not yet ready to be free.

I hold on to that heartache
Tearing apart my mortal shell
Bringing down my inner walls
Forcing myself to live in this hell.

You aren’t the one hurting me
I’m doing it solely to myself
I’m sorry but I’m a masochist
I love endangering my life and health.

I don’t mind the pain
Most of the time it feels pretty good
People look at me insanely
If I wasn’t me, I would.

I see myself from the inside-out
I’m that outsider looking in
Seeing a heart that’s been torn to shreds
I gladly partake in this morbid sin.

Tearing apart my own rotting flesh
I smile at the thought of this loving ache
I swear to you I’ve chosen it myself
Just let me alone, for mine and your sake.

This nightmare has become a part of me
Overtaking my thoughts, encasing my soul
Without this blood streaming in my life
I will never again feel entirely whole.

Copyright Â© BlindRomantic ... [ 2005-08-04 12:44:36]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Self-Infliction (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 02:20:16 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I really do not know what to say about this write, except that, the part where you said you were tearing apart your own rotting flesh, seemed to of made me sick lol. Well I liked the emotions you expressed in it.

Re: Self-Infliction (User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 02:24:10 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a really good write, the emotions that you express amazes me. I hope all works out.

"People look at me insanely
If I wasn’t me, I would."

I understand that part all too well. Please continue sharing your work with us!

Re: Self-Infliction (User Rating: 1 )
by Somnium on Sunday, 2nd April 2006 @ 10:43:33 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Iv never self harmed, but i have friends who have, its a hard subject and i think youve dealt with it really well and made it easier for the outsiders to understand what its like and why its done. Thankyou for this poem, very well written

Ben

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