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(
[sid] => 105073
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Mother's Son
[time] => 2005-09-05 03:26:35
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I have suffered long before life taught me
the necessity of hypocrisy-
how you must bend your face in mirth
with your protesting soul, to the earth
though we wander among the stars.
I have ancient battle scars
to show for those kindergarten days
and some not so ancient.
When I had a God to blame or praise
it wasn't so bad - I was complacent
about the things life did to me
not knowing it was the gaping gaps of mind
and the black Calcutta holes in kind
that were to blame for my misery,
my stunted life and deaf mute humanity.
Life is uncompromising.
To know this is to bear this..
and with a certain and slow irony,
a flung-far-off frenzy
with tight-pressed lips against blame,
there is no culprit to name
but for myself when nobody's in,
nobody to watch me commit that last sin
and turn away from myself, for this
is the ultimate cowardice.
The lapping surf of darkness
eats away into my fearing soul
when there's no convenient God to enroll
into my category of own littleness.
My self-deceit will never be done.
Yet, I hope to pluck hope from nowhere
as a child that may pick poppies from her hair,
and sings to herself when all is quiet.
I am not very brave..
and by it I mean,
I am a silent self-suffering one.
I was my Mother's son.
Billy
[comments] => 13
[counter] => 464
[topic] => 61
[informant] => Man_On_High
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 20
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => selfstruggles
)
Mother's Son
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 03:26:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I have suffered long before life taught me
the necessity of hypocrisy-
how you must bend your face in mirth
with your protesting soul, to the earth
though we wander among the stars.
I have ancient battle scars
to show for those kindergarten days
and some not so ancient.
When I had a God to blame or praise
it wasn't so bad - I was complacent
about the things life did to me
not knowing it was the gaping gaps of mind
and the black Calcutta holes in kind
that were to blame for my misery,
my stunted life and deaf mute humanity.
Life is uncompromising.
To know this is to bear this..
and with a certain and slow irony,
a flung-far-off frenzy
with tight-pressed lips against blame,
there is no culprit to name
but for myself when nobody's in,
nobody to watch me commit that last sin
and turn away from myself, for this
is the ultimate cowardice.
The lapping surf of darkness
eats away into my fearing soul
when there's no convenient God to enroll
into my category of own littleness.
My self-deceit will never be done.
Yet, I hope to pluck hope from nowhere
as a child that may pick poppies from her hair,
and sings to herself when all is quiet.
I am not very brave..
and by it I mean,
I am a silent self-suffering one.
I was my Mother's son.
Billy
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2005-09-05 03:26:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 04:18:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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..no need for the spell chk 14...
it's two l's..
but good looking out-
Thanks anyway-
B |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 04:57:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow!!! That was just mind blowing.
The intensity of this poem just makes you read with your mouth hanging wide open. If you could make Jarred feel like that, then you’re doing something special here.
Thanks for sharing this piece.
Jane~
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 05:08:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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What an exellent emotional write
((HUGS)))
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 05:08:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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What an exellent emotional write
((HUGS)))
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 05:58:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
An emotional self portrait.
“how you must bend your face in mirth
with your protesting soul, to the earth”
- The feelings, which follow this circumstance, are familiar just as they are painfully emotive.
“When I had a God to blame or praise
it wasn't so bad - I was complacent
To know this is to bear this..”
-Because knowing is a burden, whilst faith is satisfying in the sense that it is ‘external’ to one’s self and one’s control.
“but for myself when nobody's in”
-unfathomable. It is almost like an outer body experience. On the outside looking in, yet perhaps on a more figurative level?
“The lapping surf of darkness
eats away into my fearing soul
when there's no convenient God to enroll”
The usual metaphoric significance of ‘Darkness’, seems to have been further explored, here.
It is portrayed as an entity, here, where usually it is presented as a portion of negativity or negative energy.
I like this concept of ‘entirety’, it is very human.
No convenient God.
I’m sure there never was, and always is.
An omnipresent contradiction.
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by sahakuty on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 09:21:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Excellent piece. Thanks for sharing. Makes me want to read and read again and yet I cherish it as the first time. BRAVO! |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 01:07:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
The hope is there, waiting on you. You have to throw off the mantle of the past, having learned from it, and look forward only to the future where happiness lies waiting for you. We wake up each day with a clean slate. Why rewrite the same sadness over and over. You cannot change it in the past, but you can with strength and hope change each day of your future. Sow seeds of a happiness and smiles. If you practice them long enough they become second nature to you and then infiltrate your soul and reasoning. Life is beautiful, no matter what you past held, unless you clasp it to you tightly and refuse to let it go. You owe that to the people in your life you care about. Don't dwell on your problems, dwell on their happiness. You will be a richer man because of it. The past can fade to where it is almost unrecognizable. You find you don't obsess on it as much and each tomorrow becomes brighter and safer and there is no anxious waiting like 'Chicken Little' for the sky to fall. Life if not perfect by any means, but we can make our personal world that way. Blessings to you and those you love.
Your friend,
Rita. |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 11:06:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
You give so much of yourself in this poem...your very SOUL..
Beautifully written, soaked in guilt in seems and self-accusation...but dear Billy you have so much to offer in this world, your future is promising.
Yet again I feel as if I dont have to write lol you've captured the very thoughts of my guarded mind..like you're APART of me lol..sounds weird but it's true...
This one's a gem! |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 6th September 2005 @ 01:36:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Billy I'm in awe. what can I say other than what everyone else has written. You pour ur heart and soul out in this poem. I commend u on being able to do so. You have to leave the past behind u, I know it's easier said than done, but u have to. That's the only way you'll be able to move on. You are a gifted and talented poet who has so much to offer. I felt every word you wrote Billy.
May ur wounded heart heal a.s.a.p. dearest Billy.
Heartfelt hugs from ur devoted fan,
Sue, Dreamer |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 6th September 2005 @ 10:58:00 PM AEST
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just plain and simple.Do not dwell in the part of things that have taken and were done. We have to know, in the heart, and I have a feeling YOU do.! Can all so well, know exactly where and HOW you do feel.! Oh believe, me............As always your self expression, is the key to forgetting and making peace. Thanks for sharing
Yours,
brew~ |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th September 2005 @ 11:45:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is an intense and amazing write!!! I am really at a loss for words except
((((((((Billy))))))))))))
Hugs,
Kara |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 10:13:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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great post bro...remember that if life bears no scars, we wouldn' t know if we are truly alive.
wiz |
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Re: Mother's Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 27th December 2006 @ 05:21:29 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Dearest ..
I can't tell you how this touched me .. especially this day.
I read this last night, but was muted completely and
rendered fully incapable of commenting. I feel the struggle
within and it is utterly heart breaking.
(Will elaborate more in PM :) )
Love,
~Roxanne
XO |
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