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Array ( [sid] => 105593 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Without You [time] => 2005-09-13 00:00:32 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I could certainly live without you if I tried..
It is the trying that is so unthinkable.

I could learn to live alone and by myself
if I were not such a poor scholar at learning..
those kinds of intricate and monumental lessons-
and be able to go back to that quiet time
and find steps toward life in that fimailiar dark.

I could, for instance, watch a sunset without you..
hear birds without wishing to share their song with you-
..listen to Bach and Van Halen on a single evening
and not rage to have you in the same room.

The Sea would surely speak the same thing to me
and deliver up it's immemorial magic as ever,
with you not there to decipher it for me
and with a magic the Sea could never own.

In your absence, I might even write a love poem
and afterwards..read it to the listening night
without choking to death on the mangled words
and losing all sense in the grief of your going.

I could find my way into books again without you..
maybe into the writing of books without you..
and not know the terrifying panic and sweat
of showing you what I've written.

I could perhaps, start to understand the hieroglyphics of my life,
without you there to decode each and every symbol-
little mysteries that would unravel themselves
without your tender toutelage to prepare me.

Learning to live without you would be rather like
learning to live each moment I drew a breath
and if that is the most vital lesson I can learn..
let me remain alone for the rest of my life.

Billy [comments] => 13 [counter] => 338 [topic] => 75 [informant] => Man_On_High [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 33 [ratings] => 10 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
Without You

Contributed by Man_On_High on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 12:00:32 AM in AEST
Topic: anguished



I could certainly live without you if I tried..
It is the trying that is so unthinkable.

I could learn to live alone and by myself
if I were not such a poor scholar at learning..
those kinds of intricate and monumental lessons-
and be able to go back to that quiet time
and find steps toward life in that fimailiar dark.

I could, for instance, watch a sunset without you..
hear birds without wishing to share their song with you-
..listen to Bach and Van Halen on a single evening
and not rage to have you in the same room.

The Sea would surely speak the same thing to me
and deliver up it's immemorial magic as ever,
with you not there to decipher it for me
and with a magic the Sea could never own.

In your absence, I might even write a love poem
and afterwards..read it to the listening night
without choking to death on the mangled words
and losing all sense in the grief of your going.

I could find my way into books again without you..
maybe into the writing of books without you..
and not know the terrifying panic and sweat
of showing you what I've written.

I could perhaps, start to understand the hieroglyphics of my life,
without you there to decode each and every symbol-
little mysteries that would unravel themselves
without your tender toutelage to prepare me.

Learning to live without you would be rather like
learning to live each moment I drew a breath
and if that is the most vital lesson I can learn..
let me remain alone for the rest of my life.

Billy




Copyright © Man_On_High ... [ 2005-09-13 00:00:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 12:14:31 AM AEST
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Awww Billy....this is such a heartfelt write....

"I could certainly live without you if I tried..
It is the trying that is so unthinkable."

Hang in there, my friend...
Hugs
Jenni


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 12:20:45 AM AEST
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This is sad stuff.......reminds me of a similar poem of mine in the works because I have been feeling this way.

"In your absence, I might even write a love poem
and afterwards..read it to the listening night
without choking to death on the mangled words
and losing all sense in the grief of your going"

....God that bit's beautiful Billy, and tends to incur memories of the one I love, I miss him so much.....

I think I'll go cry now lol..

No seriously, you stirred my insides up with this one. Very emotive, a masterpiece



Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 12:27:08 AM AEST
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Beautiful and moving Billy, You have such a amazing way of putting your feelings in poetic form !! Awww Hugs to you , I know you can find love again


Leia36(clover)


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 01:25:02 AM AEST
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I wish such love and happiness for you. I hurt that you hurt. Loneliness is a frightening demon because one can get complacent in it and fill that ache with 'things' to keep ones mind and hands busy to keep from feeling. Some of us tend to build that horrid wall to keep from being hurt again and then when love does try to come we don't know how to disassemble it (lost behind it). Don't stay lost, Billy. It is very lonesome in that forced solitude. Rita


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by brew on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 10:07:15 AM AEST
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its easy to build walls..to stay behind. its easy to go down paths or roads that keep you from looking forward...........yet, you can find that wall to break, and that path, can be new. It DOESNT , always have bad beginnings, or bad endings. YES..........its hard....and NO , it is not guarenteed..............But, why not let it flow and go with the flow. Sorry the heart has been, and still hurting.......Just cant answer ...........Just take it.....walk with it, and do it. All things are chances, and if it isnt taken , how did or do you know?! Heart distressed write, yet can be decompressed........

Yours,
Brew~


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 02:22:25 PM AEST
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Love that ending, and the feeling behind this write. Well done Billy, I enjoyed this.



Scorp.


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by gwenevere on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 04:00:48 PM AEST
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You'll never be alone Billy.You have got the most beautiful heart.It will take someone extremely special to share it, ros


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by CarolinaBlue on Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 05:34:29 PM AEST
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Ohhh Billy, have faith, savor all the moments and memories you speak of here and eventually meaning will be restored to that empty place in your heart. It is a rocky rough road that no one ever wants to journey down, but know that you my friend, will never be alone. There is still so much waiting for you and you have much to share, your flowing words and deeply expressive imagery are cherished by all of us, not to mention the fact they come with a very special person attached to them, you . Hang in there, HUGS!

~Blue~
(BTW it's good to see you again too!)


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 04:11:55 AM AEST
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I like this poem. You add a humble touch to this that is very refreshing.


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 08:35:00 PM AEST
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This is a courageous write. It is ones worst fear and most intimate of times intertwined into a ball of life.


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by Writting_Fever on Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 05:58:43 PM AEST
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Oh wow. This is an awesom poem. I absolutly love the first stanza.

"I could certainly live without you if I tried..
It is the trying that is so unthinkable."

I LOVE that line. Incredible.

Sarah


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 08:29:28 PM AEST
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This one touched me deeply. Thank you for putting so
eloquently and poetically and beautifully, emotions that
none of us truly embrace, but all have felt at one time or another.
You have a tremendous gift of expression Billy.
Feed it. Employ it. RELISH IT!!!!
It's wonderful!!!!

~Breezy


Re: Without You (User Rating: 1 )
by nanb294eva on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 01:18:17 PM AEST
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I still have not learned how to live without you I still read your poems everyday and without you to desifer them for me,,,,I just read and read on and as my gloomy days turn into gloomy lonely nights just one phone call made me learn I NEED TO START LIVING AGAIN ...GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEW ROOMATE....HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!!! FOR ME
WITHOUT YOU HAS BEEN HARD BELIEVE IT OR NOT




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