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Array
(
[sid] => 105852
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Realized Too Late
[time] => 2005-09-16 23:44:58
[hometext] => I wasn't able to sleep. So, I thought writing what was on my mind would somehow make it easier to get through another night.
[bodytext] => I remember his eyes So full of hate I finally realize But now it's too late My mind is tired My body weak My souls disintegrating My eyes-they just weep I love him so much I can't seem to let go I'm not sure I even want to My mind says yes, my heart no I make wrong choices Some of the time But what can I do My heart controls my mind I can't forget The love we once had I just wish I knew Why he was always so mad I went out of my way To show my love and loyalty All I got in return Was anger and cruelty But I forgave and forgave And loved him endlessly Even after he took everything I had- Even after he hit me When I remember his eyes They're so full of hate I wish I had realized But now it's too late Sometimes I wonder If I took things too far But then I remember All the incidents in the car All the fear I felt All the tears I cried Day after day A piece of me died Time went on I was in denial I was no longer trying to escape It was a game of survival Things got worse I was in fear all the time It wasn't my heart anymore- It was him who controlled my mind I couldn't take anymore So I got help the first chance I got His grandfather called 911 And then they fought I'll never forget His grandmothers scream The police....the ambulance They haunt my dreams Now he is gone But I still feel the pain I've lost myself I feel I have nothing to gain I try to be happy But I'm sad everyday I feel this nightmare won't end.......... I feel I'm slowly fading away I can still see his eyes So full of hate If only I had realized Before it was too late [comments] => 2 [counter] => 157 [topic] => 48 [informant] => PrincessJen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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