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Array
(
[sid] => 106043
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Cry
[time] => 2005-09-19 20:35:29
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Should I cry out, fall to my knee's scream, fight. Or should I stand tall, hide it all, not shed a tear, give in. If I reached for you, would you take my hand, take me with you? Everything reminds me of you, photographs, words, songs, everything. I try to be strong for you, I won't show my pain, my tears. I won't let my voice crack, when I talk about you, I won't get upset, my body won't shake, I won't allow it in. I look at your picture, just sitting there, but that's all it is a picture. I can't console it and it can't console me, I'm trying not to care, trying not to cry, but I can't hold it in, for the first time, I want to break out, and scream, I want someone to listen, but there's no one here, not even you. I always pushed everyone away, could never communicate, share my feelings, talk, or cry, but now, now I want to. And your not here with me. You can't take my hand, no one can. If I wrote a letter, and let it drift off in the ocean, would you find it? I would write all the things, I could never tell you, I could never tell anyone. I'd apologize for all my wrongs, take all responsibility. I'd let you in, and show you my world. The only thing that ever stopped me, was that I thought you'd never understand, and now, it's too late. And even still, I don't know how to react. I'm scared to care, because, it'll only make me weaker, but I do care, and it hurts, more than anything, it hurts. I never could understand my feelings. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 171 [topic] => 61 [informant] => Scarletrayne [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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