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The Bread Man
Contributed by
jyssvw22
on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 07:51:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
She sits in her short skirt
Legs spread open
What a sickening sight
As they cross and then defrost
The icicle that hung
On the tongue-
Tip of her boss
The Joker laughs at you
The smoker blows
That wasteful toke
Had to pull the peal quickly from the artichoke
Straight from the roots
From the mud that hides its shape
Coming in out of the rain
For a brief escape
Enhancing the sensation
Of glow sticks dancin
On the walls, the faces melt
And then she kicks you below the belt
Circle and dots
Circulate around the thickening plot
And since, the hallucinogens, wont stop
The chemicals rise and bubble to the top
While the thick oil sinks to the bottom
Drop by drop
By drop
Major details
Turned to minor episodes
Modulated emotions
That cant keep up with themselves
Its shown in the constellations
The sequence of interruptions
Perseverant
Uninhibited
Spoils the rhythm
If it had any to begin with
Scratch the location
The human experience
The leading questions
The sticky answers
The animal is nothing
Compared to the creature
______________________________
_______________
Copyright ©
jyssvw22
... [
2005-10-17 19:51:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Bread Man
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 08:15:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
So, are you a raver now, or what? :O
But seriously...as they say; it's all in the details...and in that respect, this write is not lacking!
I found it to be not only bursting with imagery, but a creative piece, and an intriguing read.
The animal is nothing
Compared to the creature...
Indeed!
H.S
(Who's nickname a long time ago was once 'The Joker') : ) |
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Re: The Bread Man
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 08:15:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this has attitude nice flow and pure raw power.
Michelle |
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Re: The Bread Man
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 03:14:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Yes, it's those last two lines that bring a gleam of light to the very abstract and surreal style of this piece. But it resonates, it truly does.
Well done!
Andrew |
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Re: The Bread Man
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 11:31:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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lol....
you asked for that kick jyss...
if even for making fun of her or
him or it, in silence...in your words here-
(last two lines for me on this are beyond:)
"The animal is nothing
Compared to the creature"
..got what you deserved? ..lol
..either way..
I freakin' loved this-
WOW!!
Sincerely,
Billy
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