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Array ( [sid] => 109293 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Diminishing Thoughts [time] => 2005-11-08 07:46:40 [hometext] => This is a dark write that I’ve been debating about posting. Please comment and I will return the favor on your work….Steve [bodytext] => Turmoil’s that torture
In darkness they swell
To take over a life
And send it to hell
~~~~
Darker it builds
With hate in its mitts
Pain in a voice
As a life starts to drift
~~~~
It drifts away
And it drifts apart
As you feel the pain
That rips out your heart
~~~~
Closer your demise
As your mind starts to flow
Blood in your eyes
As your hate starts to show
~~~~
Pain in your heart
As it hurts from with in
This evil takes over
As your hate starts to win
~~~~
Your life is his
He's taken your soul
Your body and mind
Are in his control
~~~~
Give into your pain
As you admit defeat
No more pride
In your life’s defeat

~Steve~ [comments] => 9 [counter] => 262 [topic] => 13 [informant] => sride686 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Diminishing Thoughts

Contributed by sride686 on Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 07:46:40 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Turmoil’s that torture
In darkness they swell
To take over a life
And send it to hell
~~~~
Darker it builds
With hate in its mitts
Pain in a voice
As a life starts to drift
~~~~
It drifts away
And it drifts apart
As you feel the pain
That rips out your heart
~~~~
Closer your demise
As your mind starts to flow
Blood in your eyes
As your hate starts to show
~~~~
Pain in your heart
As it hurts from with in
This evil takes over
As your hate starts to win
~~~~
Your life is his
He's taken your soul
Your body and mind
Are in his control
~~~~
Give into your pain
As you admit defeat
No more pride
In your life’s defeat

~Steve~

Copyright Â© sride686 ... [ 2005-11-08 07:46:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 08:06:01 AM AEST
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It is dark, but really enjoyable, plus the darker ones are more of my interest. It definitely has that feel of pain to it, the shatter of one's heart, conquering of one's life, very emotion packed. It was a pleasure reading. Great write, hope to see more soon.

-Cassy

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by suicidal_imbecile on Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 11:25:44 AM AEST
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Hey steve, I love your work, there has been alot that i have learned over the summer. But i see that some people still struggle with the very essence of themselves. I hope your time in cali was awsome. keep writing buddy and dont worry your posts dont sound sappy.
"we dont want to kill, we dont want to die, we dont want to die, we dont want to kill"
-kate

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by xXxmegsxXx on Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 11:58:17 AM AEST
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i love it. its so powerful and filled with such emotion. well done
xXx

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by onedysturbdchick on Wednesday, 9th November 2005 @ 04:06:45 AM AEST
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loved it....you capture the essence of darkness and depression so vividly

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on Monday, 14th November 2005 @ 06:37:52 PM AEST
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i really like this write and its nice and dark perfect for me lol.Anyways great job.
And by the way as you can see i decided to stay on this site.

take care

hugs

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by LolaWhite on Thursday, 17th November 2005 @ 02:43:06 PM AEST
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As always you convey the darkest of moments that you face in life with the most eloquent poetry. I love the flow and the mood of this write. I know that you personally never admit defeat, you are an amazing soldier, husband, Daddy and poet. I loved it!
Kisses,
Your Lea-Ann
xox

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 10:20:17 PM AEST
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Awesome writing, my friend.
Just wonna say I'm praying for u 2 have the most thankfull Thanksgiving ever. Just know you'll be in my thoughts=n-prayers today and on Thanksgiving.
I really do have the highest respect for u-n-all our soilders there or wherever.
I'll be away from my computor till at least after Thanksgiving.
God bless u and all the rest in Jesus name, amen!
huggs,
emy

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by deathbringer on Tuesday, 22nd November 2005 @ 04:17:15 AM AEST
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Filled with hate and sadness.A verry good rythm and an excelent poem.

Re: Diminishing Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by ilhsa on Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 11:31:57 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

good write keep it up

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