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wILL you lay with me
Contributed by
jessejames
on
Wednesday, 9th November 2005 @ 06:04:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
WILL YOU LAY WITH ME IN A FILD OF STONE
WILLYOU SITH WITH ME ON MY BROKEN THRONE
WILL YOU BE MY STRENGTH WHEN IM WEARY AND WEAK
WILL YOU STILL KNOW MY THOUGHTS WHEN I CAN NOT SPEAK
WILL YOU LOVE ME STILL WHEN MY HAIR TURNS GRAY
WILL YOU FOLLOW ME IF I RUN AWAY
WILL YOU HIDE MY SOUL FROM THE ANGEL OF DEATH
WILL YOU STAY WITH ME TILL ME VERY LAST BREATH
WILL YOU STAND MY ME RIGHT OR WRONG
WILL YOU BE THE MELODY TO MY LOVE SONG
WILL YOU GO WITH ME TO A FAR OFF LAND
WILL YOU WHIPE THE BLOOD AWAY FROM MY DYING HAND
WILL YOU LAY WITH ME IF I GIVE MYSLEF TO YOU
Copyright ©
jessejames
... [
2005-11-09 18:04:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: wILL you lay with me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on
Wednesday, 9th November 2005 @ 07:19:34 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Amazing poem. Breathtaking, insightful....just amazing.
Some tips, tkae it off caps. The capitals kind of ruin the sweet and sincere mood. Also, use spellcheck. "whipe" is wipe, but it looks like whip. And fild is feild, and there are others.
Sorry to be so critical, cause it is a really good poem. Just my suggestions.
Still, I love it.
Keep it up,
~Riisa |
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Re: wILL you lay with me
(User Rating: 1 )
by moon_light on
Wednesday, 9th November 2005 @ 07:27:43 PM AEST
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| questinons we all need ancered |
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