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Array
(
[sid] => 1102
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Messed Up
[time] => 2002-07-25 11:14:07
[hometext] => I really messed up this part of my life; I wished I could have kept forever.
But I know they still love me, but don’t want anything more to do with me, as I had wanted with them. It’s not easy respecting wishes, so as not to cause problems, I should have tried harder, and didn’t care about what was allowed or not. I really did lose two wonderful twin nephews. Their answer told me all. [bodytext] => I sent a letter to my twin nephews last week I wasn’t allowed to see them, since I left 3yrs. ago I didn’t have time to explain, nor family havoc I seek Now they are of age, and graduated, I asked them to go Give me a chance to be their Aunt again I realized they were never told of what I was told So why should I start a family war, still be out in the cold? It wouldn’t be remembered, by those who said this! For I would look like a liar, so I will do what I can To just accept their answer, my dear heart does miss I should have tried harder, despite not being allowed Instead of my broken heart, not being given this chance Benjamin and Eric, you gave your answer, it hurts so loud I messed up, for my love wasn’t strong enough Although you said you would always remember me All I had done for you, now, my heart is drained, by that sharp lance I know your moving on in your lives, doing all the young adult stuff I guess I know in my heart I had done my closure, this is done, painfully For you decided to listen of that from the past Saying I didn’t want to be a part of this family IF you only knew all I wanted to share with you both, to make it last To give my love, despite not being apart of your Uncle Kerry I just know when I die, my heart and soul are clear and no secrets When the time comes, either for you, or me, God sees thru those leaflets I hope a day will arrive, when maybe you will change your mind When maybe those prior thoughts open up to see I did try Sorry I am only a statistic in time, not worth a true good find To two beautiful nephews, I lost for sure, Please forgive me, while I cry… Amber Rose Yeager – July 24, 2002 [comments] => 1 [counter] => 203 [topic] => 25 [informant] => Rose [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )
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