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Array
(
[sid] => 11186
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Living Dead
[time] => 2003-01-25 06:30:00
[hometext] => It's not about zombies.
[bodytext] => rain pouring down
on me once again all alone in this Hell bleeding Nothing spent so many years praying i would die prayers finally answered sorrow swallowed my mind no feeling left no love, no hate Nothing Left to do but sit and wait for my body to join my rotting brain to die, to be free to be rid of this pain can't survive in a world designed to destroy me in every way can't go on living in this world of ***** killing me a little more each day thoughs became my enemy before my mind passed away Nothing but negative ***** all the time never anything good to say it's been months, since i have felt a heartbeat beneath my chest years since love withered and died not even tolerance at best i loathe myself for going on can't kill myself yet just not that strong thinking back to better days when i could blame others for my ***** up ways but when no one is left to take the blame see the cause and effect are one in the same fell apart and lost the pieces only a broken shell remains shooting myself to pass the time but, i can't even feel the pain wish i could say i hate you but i don't know who you are it's all my fault, i should be dead by now can't believe it's gone this far can't fight anymore, can't even convince myself that it's all in my head i slit my wrists, but there's no blood i am the living dead i can't die [comments] => 1 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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