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Array
(
[sid] => 112385
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Empty shell
[time] => 2006-01-01 12:36:10
[hometext] => A new year..and life is still old
[bodytext] => Despair overcomes...climbing over obstacles a new year has dawned...but I am still the same Clouds in the sky promise more misfortune my shell is still empty...decaying...forlorn Seeking a smile...friendly conversation rooms full of people...yet utterly alone There once was a time when smiles came to me freely maybe they sense my soul wears but a frown It's hard to admit that love I took for granted my pedestal was steady...built on solid ground But dreams and desires stole away my stature repelling...expelling...bidding me farewell Trying to connect with ego so corrupted deserving of affection...yet none is what I've found Everyone has issues...are mine just not important a mask...a facade...is all that I have worn Looking for like...since love is not an option superficial friends...acquaintances abound My phone never rings except as a wrong number an afterthought to most....do they even care I'm home Trying so hard to make myself a person someone to connect with...and let the walls fall down I'm weary of life and prospects of more sorrow rejection is acceptance...emotions that are raw One must perservere...or sit and suffer greatly letting self-pity consume what's not yet gone Scraping and tearing the barriers so gently lost and morose...the rhythm pulls me down I can think of nothing to validate existence visions and memories...of wearing toppled crown A new year has dawned...but didn't bring me with it my shell is still empty...decaying...forlorn [comments] => 4 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 75 [informant] => crow6279 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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