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Array
(
[sid] => 112711
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Self Indulgent Misery
[time] => 2006-01-07 03:29:26
[hometext] => Comments gratefully recieved
[bodytext] => Self Indulgent Misery Clear, cool, calm That's how I want to be Not the torrent of emotions I always seem to be Never seeming far from tears Not a good quality, for one of my years! Why does it seem Such a strain To keep my emotions Under rein Self Indulgent Misery The place it seems I prefer to be For if I dont want it Then courage I lack Because I fight my way out But I always come back No one around me, can comfortably know Which way today, my mood will flow One day bright and full of laughter The next quite plainly, a walking disaster If I could, would I rather be you? The pain of living with me, I havent a clue When I am down and dont want to exist I callously forget, that you love me, and I'm missed I expect you to carry on, just pretend i'm not there But I'm kidding myself, you cant, you care You cant help me, that causes you pain I dont want that, and I dont want the blame You dont expect to be happy 24/7, three sixty five Your realistic, tis not for perfection you strive But I feel such a wimp, I wish I was strong I'm so bloody tired, of getting it wrong XShmokinX [comments] => 3 [counter] => 179 [topic] => 75 [informant] => Shmokin [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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