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Array ( [sid] => 113620 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My life [time] => 2006-01-22 23:22:00 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Your pregnant, Sharon. Chris is on the way.
Your happy, you think this is what you want.

Brandon is on the way,
Your tired of being pregnant?! How can you
Be tired of being pregnant?!
You hurt him! You drank the castor oil!
WHY?! You knew how he would be! WHY!!!
HOW CAN ANY ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DO THAT?!

I'm on the way, Daddy is happy!
He wants me. He loves me.
I'm born, early September!
You and Daddy start fighting.

Sandy is on the way!
The baby that had a story behind her.
Your sick! Your daughter is your own cousin!
How could you, your fricking sick!!
Your uncle and your aunt! You freak!

It's not yet my 2nd birthday, you and Daddy
Are talking about getting back together.
Then you move in with Little Sharon.
And meet Terry, and that's when it all started.

You fricking let him hit Chris & Brandon!
Your horrible! How could you let him give poor
Little Brandon, not yet 4, rope burns?!
Chris doesn't belong in the wall! Do you even
Know that?! Do you even care? You even locked me & Sandy
In the closet! I never felt so alone.

Right before you and Daddy
Divorce, we spend 2 weeks with you.
Chris, 6 or 7 is forced to feed all 3 of us.
Why?! Because you were to fricking lazy to get off
Of your butt and do anything! I can't even look at
A hot dog now because you feed us them 3 times a day.

"Ask for a hug" How can a person tell their kid that?!
You did it though. I had to wash dishes when I was at
Your house. I don't remember everything about that time,
But what I do remember, I hated it! Like I hate you!

After the costudy battle, no one kept in touch, i wonder why?!
Then somehow you got my email, and we started that.
Then when we went to Oklahoma, we'd visit you.
You tried to make me believe it was all Daddy's fault!
I hated you for doing that! All he ever did was try to protect
Us kids.

By this time I'm about 14 or 15, I want to know what happened
All those years ago. You won't tell me though. I asked Daddy,
And I cried. I thought you loved, and wanted us! I see I was wrong!
You had 4 child abuse charges, just on Chris & Brandon!
Who knows how many in all! And you weren't even supposed to
Talk to me by yourself. Why did you have to do this to us, then lie
To my face?! You didn't think we'd ask about our past did you?!

Now I'm 17, Im doing good. I have a Mother who loves me.
I'm a better person for what you did to us, I'm just sorry it happened
Brandon, Chris, & Sandy. I really, really hate you. I hope you and Terry
Burn for what you did! [comments] => 5 [counter] => 515 [topic] => 21 [informant] => JordonsBaby17 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 19 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
My life

Contributed by JordonsBaby17 on Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 11:22:00 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



Your pregnant, Sharon. Chris is on the way.
Your happy, you think this is what you want.

Brandon is on the way,
Your tired of being pregnant?! How can you
Be tired of being pregnant?!
You hurt him! You drank the castor oil!
WHY?! You knew how he would be! WHY!!!
HOW CAN ANY ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DO THAT?!

I'm on the way, Daddy is happy!
He wants me. He loves me.
I'm born, early September!
You and Daddy start fighting.

Sandy is on the way!
The baby that had a story behind her.
Your sick! Your daughter is your own cousin!
How could you, your fricking sick!!
Your uncle and your aunt! You freak!

It's not yet my 2nd birthday, you and Daddy
Are talking about getting back together.
Then you move in with Little Sharon.
And meet Terry, and that's when it all started.

You fricking let him hit Chris & Brandon!
Your horrible! How could you let him give poor
Little Brandon, not yet 4, rope burns?!
Chris doesn't belong in the wall! Do you even
Know that?! Do you even care? You even locked me & Sandy
In the closet! I never felt so alone.

Right before you and Daddy
Divorce, we spend 2 weeks with you.
Chris, 6 or 7 is forced to feed all 3 of us.
Why?! Because you were to fricking lazy to get off
Of your butt and do anything! I can't even look at
A hot dog now because you feed us them 3 times a day.

"Ask for a hug" How can a person tell their kid that?!
You did it though. I had to wash dishes when I was at
Your house. I don't remember everything about that time,
But what I do remember, I hated it! Like I hate you!

After the costudy battle, no one kept in touch, i wonder why?!
Then somehow you got my email, and we started that.
Then when we went to Oklahoma, we'd visit you.
You tried to make me believe it was all Daddy's fault!
I hated you for doing that! All he ever did was try to protect
Us kids.

By this time I'm about 14 or 15, I want to know what happened
All those years ago. You won't tell me though. I asked Daddy,
And I cried. I thought you loved, and wanted us! I see I was wrong!
You had 4 child abuse charges, just on Chris & Brandon!
Who knows how many in all! And you weren't even supposed to
Talk to me by yourself. Why did you have to do this to us, then lie
To my face?! You didn't think we'd ask about our past did you?!

Now I'm 17, Im doing good. I have a Mother who loves me.
I'm a better person for what you did to us, I'm just sorry it happened
Brandon, Chris, & Sandy. I really, really hate you. I hope you and Terry
Burn for what you did!




Copyright © JordonsBaby17 ... [ 2006-01-22 23:22:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: My life (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 11:42:49 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
This was really more your story than a poem...but I guess that's what poetry is...us and our lives and how we deal. My heart is saddened by your write. I've read it twice and think of all the young men and women like yourself who has endured abuse at the hands of an adult. You have already gained much wisdom for your young age, for you are right about one thing. Hard times are rough, but then when they're over. Hopefully we'll have grown and learned a lesson from it all. Try to forgive your mother. Carrying the hate will do you no good.
Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your young life. Be strong. Peace, Laura


Re: My life (User Rating: 1 )
by dc on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 12:02:04 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Thanks for sharing - and I hope it relieved -at least a little bit. I'm glad that you found love - because you deserve it - and it looks like you've realized, it is your responsability to break the cycle, and let love -n - responsability take over-
Make a different world -one that is safe and sure and give it strong wings of it's own -even stronger than yours.
God bless!


Re: My life (User Rating: 1 )
by dc on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 12:09:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
P.S. Not that you need feel it - and i know you can't fix it - but somebody damaged you're mama's childhood also.


Re: My life (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 02:55:27 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
This is sad and heart wrenching but well written. I'm so sorry u have to live with this.
luv, huggs, prayer,
emy


Re: My life (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 24th January 2006 @ 07:51:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Im sorry you and your siblings had to endure such pain. No one should have to go through such events. I look forward to more of your pieces.




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