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Array
(
[sid] => 115396
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Santa Claus kicked my ***
[time] => 2006-02-25 15:24:53
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I was bitter at Santa Claus because of something he didn't bring me when I was a kid. I decided to get revenge but now I regret what I did. When I was eight, I sent Santa a letter to the North pole. I asked for a bicycle but I got a lump of coal. Santa brought me coal because that year I was bad. When he didn't bring me a new bicycle, I was very mad. I waited until I was all grown up to fight Kris Kringle. He knocked my teeth down my throat and that's why I'm still single. When he came down the chimney, I was waiting for him. I would've hid under the bed had I known he'd win. I punched him in his stomach and it shook like a bowl full of jelly. This guy needed a bath because he was really smelly. I punched him in the eye and then I socked him in the nose. I wouldn't have fought him if I would've known he would retaliate with such hard blows. Santa was so mad, he started having a fit. He grabbed a paper weight and hit me in the head with it. After he beat the crap out of me, he tore off part of my leg. Now I'm like a pirate because I walk on a peg. I learned a valuable lesson when Santa broke every bone in my body. Before I fought old Saint Nick, I should've learned karate. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 276 [topic] => 7 [informant] => randyjohnson [notes] => Edited for Language by Moderator_15 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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