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Array ( [sid] => 116952 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My Cross to Bear [time] => 2006-03-23 23:45:41 [hometext] => * Addiction and depression... Written while stoned so if it doesn't make sense that is why. * [bodytext] => Bought a fragment of happiness for $30,
But my smile is still hidden
Behind a smoky pallor
I shovel emptiness into my heart
Dragging tears through the endless mire
Tears that I've tried to hide
So I can forget my deepest pains

I stare into the frost
Seeing only broken dreams, shattered hopes
Encroaching vision, blackness consumes
Death, baring teeth like a carnivore
Leave me to weep...

Passionate pretending to die alone
I still need you and I love you
Planting forests to remember mindlessness
Mother Nature, dead from toxic fumes
Living only to inhale

And this is my disease
This is my cross to bear [comments] => 5 [counter] => 319 [topic] => 32 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

My Cross to Bear

Contributed by bobotheclown on Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 11:45:41 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Bought a fragment of happiness for $30,
But my smile is still hidden
Behind a smoky pallor
I shovel emptiness into my heart
Dragging tears through the endless mire
Tears that I've tried to hide
So I can forget my deepest pains

I stare into the frost
Seeing only broken dreams, shattered hopes
Encroaching vision, blackness consumes
Death, baring teeth like a carnivore
Leave me to weep...

Passionate pretending to die alone
I still need you and I love you
Planting forests to remember mindlessness
Mother Nature, dead from toxic fumes
Living only to inhale

And this is my disease
This is my cross to bear

Copyright © bobotheclown ... [ 2006-03-23 23:45:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: My Cross to Bear (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 08:44:39 AM AEST
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Oh Joel....this is so beautifully written ...but so very sad.. I am sorry this is happening again. Please try to stay strong...
Call me if you want to talk..
Hugs
Jenni

Re: My Cross to Bear (User Rating: 1 )
by BRIDGI on Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 09:50:59 PM AEST
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Thats so sad.Im sorry , if that helps any.Im actualy going thru a break up rite now.So i kinda know how you feel.PM me if you want.

Re: My Cross to Bear (User Rating: 1 )
by ilovelillbj on Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 12:32:53 PM AEST
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that's really sad...smoking may make you feel good or at least nothing at the time but trust me, please learn from my experience! leave off it until you have taken the shattered pieces and put them back together.. what's left wont be what shattered but something that has learnt from the breaking. i hope you find happiness again.
x sarah x

Re: My Cross to Bear (User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 02:19:09 AM AEST
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~*Joel*~
As a sufferer of severe depression I can so much understand and relate to what you've written. Drugs numb the pain for a little while my dear friend, but that is not the solution. The problem always comes back. Time to move on dearest ~*Joel*~ there is someone out there for you and I hope that you find her real soon. The heart is such a fragile thing, may ur heart find the true love that it seeks.
You are always in my heart and prayers my dear friend. Please let me know how you are. I worry about u. Take care and may ur days ahead be much brighter.
*love n hugs*
~*Suzie Q*~

Re: My Cross to Bear (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 16th April 2006 @ 02:35:56 PM AEST
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Heart felt and tragic. Leave me to weep, as well. What a strike to the conscious of the reader. A very well done job sir, as you always do.

SCM

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