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Array
(
[sid] => 11741
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Endless Road of Scars
[time] => 2003-02-01 06:00:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => i used to think it was funny
how i could destroy anyone i chose but now the choice is not mine to make and everyone i love is dying ideas of love and sex distorted by a monster who seemed so frightening then but now that i'm not so young and not so small i see him for what he is a waste of flesh too scared of rejection to chase after grown men so he took what he wanted from a defenseless child pathetic what can i do? this is the hell i designed this is the path i've chosen this is the endless road of scars so many smiling serpents in the past who hissed that they were my friends but when the time was right they struck like the snakes they were and slithered away so many lying ***** who swore their undying love all the while sucking me dry and sucking other things, other people but the joke is on them for every ex-girlfriend, without exception is now a junkie or a whore it makes me smile to see how many promising lives i've wasted but what can i do? this hell is my design this is the path that i have chosen this is the endless road of scars so young in years yet, i feel so old so much has happened that cannot be put into mere words so many ash-grey tapestries layer the tomb of my life so many cycles of self-imposed annihilation so many attempts to end this tome so many pages left to go i just want to go home how will i know when i finally die when i've never been sure that i was alive rows of tombstones sprawl through out the wasteland of my mind each grave occupied by a piece of myself a part of everything i used to be a part of myself that i can never get back only visit infrequently and laugh at the fact that even i am not immune to the shockwaves of destuction i emit surely soon i will be ash but, in the end, what can i do? i designed this hell to torment others yet i loved it so dearly i moved right in this is what my life amounts to this is the endless road of scars [comments] => 4 [counter] => 169 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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