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Array ( [sid] => 117879 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => courpted mind [time] => 2006-04-07 07:35:39 [hometext] => the problem with my poems r no1 understands so plz leave a comment [bodytext] => Courpted mind

I hate this life
I hate this day
I hate every word
That you do say

It annoys me when I see you
It annoys me when I hear you
But mostly it annoys me
When I am not near you

But true to my feelings
what can I say?
I cant stand you
So plz stay away

For this feeling is so strong
Yet its is only four letters long
This word that I am feeling
Tuely has some meaning

[comments] => 2 [counter] => 178 [topic] => 22 [informant] => weeme [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 1 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

courpted mind

Contributed by weeme on Friday, 7th April 2006 @ 07:35:39 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

Courpted mind

I hate this life
I hate this day
I hate every word
That you do say

It annoys me when I see you
It annoys me when I hear you
But mostly it annoys me
When I am not near you

But true to my feelings
what can I say?
I cant stand you
So plz stay away

For this feeling is so strong
Yet its is only four letters long
This word that I am feeling
Tuely has some meaning

Copyright Â© weeme ... [ 2006-04-07 07:35:39]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: courpted mind (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 7th April 2006 @ 10:45:15 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

First of all, your teaser to your poem is very unattractive. “the problem with my poems r no1 understands so plz leave a comment”. Please, please, please, do not beg people to comment. Most of the time this leads potential readers to think you an inferior writer who is just begging for attention. Using words such as plz and ‘r no 1 understands’ is also a very big turn off.

As for the poem, it was some what decent. I’m not sure if your intent was to have contradicting statements in your write, to me it seems that way. The title helps the reader understand these negations and help makes the read fairly enjoyable.

~D.S. Hammoulton~

Re: courpted mind (User Rating: 1 )
by Kimberlynn on Friday, 7th April 2006 @ 07:05:59 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I agree with DSHammoulton. I thought it was okay, even though the vibe I get is just confusion from the person, so you got the feeling through.

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