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Array
(
[sid] => 118257
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => poem 22
[time] => 2006-04-13 11:46:47
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Fictional nightmares, Irrational fears, All becoming a reality to me. The pain, And the growing emptiness. Always there. Always trying to overwhelm me, And most times, Succeeding. A distorted reality is what I live in. Becoming temporarily numb chases away all of this, But only for so long. Only one thing comes to mind when I search for a solution, But that scares me so much. Suicide... It solves nothing, Yet always seems to be the solution I come up with every time. Dreams of death, And rape, Haunt me. So much I don't want to think or dwell on, Yet my mind constantly continues to do so. Lies, Broken promises, Shattered dreams, All litter my reality, Like a dumped garbage can. "Please, Someone help me." I beg this with each day that passes, But no one ever does. So-called friends keep secrets from me, Until they know that telling me these secrets will break me. So, They end up doing this. Especially one in particular. So-called friend forgot to tell me his secret, Until he saw fit, Breaking me & ending our so called friendship. I feel like I am to blame, Even though I am not. Broken. Smashed. Tattered. Torn. Ravaged. Hollow. Empty. Unrepairable. All the words I can think of to describe how I feel. Things I wish I didn't feel. So many men have wronged me, How can I trust them? Trust is such a fragile thing, So easily broken, So hard to repair. Words I said, And things that I have done; Have caused me regrets, And made the trust others put in me break. Trust can be unrepairable sometimes, And yet other times, Just takes work. But I don't believe in trust anymore. Not when it can so easily be broken. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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