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Together Alone
Contributed by
kaitee
on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:09:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Take me to a fantasy land
Far away from here
Take me to a dream come true
Where no one else is near
I'm tired of the same ol' routine
Day in and day out
Come on, take me to a hidden place
No one else knows about
All I want is some alone time with you
Just us two, whatever we want to do
Let's take a cruise to the moon
Someday soon
And let the world drift away like a hot air balloon
Way in the distance is where I want to be
Beyond as far as you can see
Over those mountains
On top of those clouds
A place where no one else is aloud
Somewhere special, somewhere secret
Let's go there and never leave it
I crave to be wrapped in your arms
With no one around to pull the alarm
Just take me there
Some place unknown
So it's just me and you, together alone
Copyright ©
kaitee
... [
2006-05-05 10:09:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Together Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aeris030388 on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:16:39 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is a great write. I could relate with the feeling behind this, may we all be lucky enough to find this place you wrote of.
-Roxanne. |
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Re: Together Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 01:59:06 PM AEST
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I like this very much.
It starts off very well, and the lines flowed together pretty well.
I do think you could have done with breaking it up into stanza's though, it's a little hard to read like this.
I think you did well with changing the rhyme scheme in the middle and toward the end. I didn't even realize it until I read it a second time. Very subtle.
Good write,
Phylls xxx |
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