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Array
(
[sid] => 119702
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Giving Up
[time] => 2006-05-08 16:49:26
[hometext] => Hard to Survive
[bodytext] => the patience i am needing to wait for death to engulf me is more than i can bare i dont think i can wait any more im sitting on my bed with my head just flying around to find a way to make the suffering end without staining the carpet red i have a rifle in the closet i have a razor on my bed stand i have a window to the roof but no high enough spot to land no one loves me they all hate me they look at me with malice in there eyes like somthing dirty i tried to fit in but nothing i did would suffice maybe if i die they'll be sorry for how they treated me and made me feel so unworthy for the air that i was breathing Maybe there right maybe i shouldnt be here maybe i am the lowest of the low why do they even care i loved a girl who had denied me because she was all high and mighty i tried many costumes to try to fit in i had no help from those who should have cared why cant i find someone that i can call my own but ill always be alone its comforting to die to be covered in darkness where i cant hear the voices of a thousand people who could care less so i go into the bathroom so therell be less of a mess ran a bath to muffle the sound as i pointed it at my chest i heard the click as the hammer hit and yet i was still alive with the gun still pointed at me chest why didnt i die because it wasnt my time to die i will live and i will SURVIVE [comments] => 1 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 36 [informant] => jsajacobanderson [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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