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Array ( [sid] => 119898 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Young, Dumb, and Apathetic [time] => 2006-05-11 23:38:00 [hometext] => Just a poem I recently rediscovered and edited. Tell me what you think? [bodytext] => Young, dumb, and apathetic
Nothing natural, all synthetic
deals with people unsympathetic
How utterly poetic

You see, this young man
Really has no plan
From the time his story began,
He was destined to waste this life span.

Try as he might
to put up a fight,
nothing turns out right
so he sits with no light

There he reflects
The problems he corrects
The things he regrets
and people he protects

He wants to be free
and find tranquility,
end the futility
by any means necessary

The needle breaks his skin
allowing the flow of drugs in
To ignore his demons within
Allowing him to be in a state of Zen

After the masquerade
The effects start to fade
And he feels betrayed
So he reaches for the blade

The blood flows red
as it covers his bed
bleeding out his dread
and leaving him dead [comments] => 4 [counter] => 304 [topic] => 43 [informant] => PoeticHybrid [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
Young, Dumb, and Apathetic

Contributed by PoeticHybrid on Thursday, 11th May 2006 @ 11:38:00 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



Young, dumb, and apathetic
Nothing natural, all synthetic
deals with people unsympathetic
How utterly poetic

You see, this young man
Really has no plan
From the time his story began,
He was destined to waste this life span.

Try as he might
to put up a fight,
nothing turns out right
so he sits with no light

There he reflects
The problems he corrects
The things he regrets
and people he protects

He wants to be free
and find tranquility,
end the futility
by any means necessary

The needle breaks his skin
allowing the flow of drugs in
To ignore his demons within
Allowing him to be in a state of Zen

After the masquerade
The effects start to fade
And he feels betrayed
So he reaches for the blade

The blood flows red
as it covers his bed
bleeding out his dread
and leaving him dead




Copyright © PoeticHybrid ... [ 2006-05-11 23:38:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Young, Dumb, and Apathetic (User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on Friday, 12th May 2006 @ 12:21:02 AM AEST
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Wow, that's some intense rhyming. Way to go. I see where you're going with this.


Re: Young, Dumb, and Apathetic (User Rating: 1 )
by Aeris030388 on Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 02:47:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
The ryhming is really good. Such a sad ending though...
-Roxanne.


Re: Young, Dumb, and Apathetic (User Rating: 1 )
by EddieDean on Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 08:26:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Wow, just......wow. Great work man, sad ending though. But, in life, very few of us actually have happy endings....


Re: Young, Dumb, and Apathetic (User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 05:35:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
good story poem - and again with the four line rhyming structure which is impressively done in this poem.
I've really been enjoying going over your work.

- Tim




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