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Array ( [sid] => 120258 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Embryonic Fluid [time] => 2006-05-17 12:18:07 [hometext] => [bodytext] => If this was the inverse
What comes second
Should have really come first
A last drink to never quench your thirst
One more stroke of her hand
Before you finally burst

If this was remotely fair
All this stress
Would add lusciousness to my graying hair
Would set me apart
Beyond compare
Like a true work of art
When you can’t help but stop and stare

If this were the age
Of fast cars and roller-skates
Drive in movies and Watergates
Stickball and soul mates
Filthy ten dollars worth
Of a shady nickel bag
Seeds collect like dirt
Exhale to release the hurt

If there was a moral
At the very least a solvent point
A diagram of disorder
Dismembered at the throat
Stimulation of the libido
Pointless games
A face held incognito
Puff and pass the joint

If this were a mockery
What do you call what you wrote
Gibberish sitting next to me
Leave it to you to tell a bad joke
Constantly bombarded
My vision retarded
Here you go, have the last toke

_______________
__________________
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Jyssvw [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Embryonic Fluid

Contributed by Jyssvw on Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 12:18:07 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

If this was the inverse
What comes second
Should have really come first
A last drink to never quench your thirst
One more stroke of her hand
Before you finally burst

If this was remotely fair
All this stress
Would add lusciousness to my graying hair
Would set me apart
Beyond compare
Like a true work of art
When you can’t help but stop and stare

If this were the age
Of fast cars and roller-skates
Drive in movies and Watergates
Stickball and soul mates
Filthy ten dollars worth
Of a shady nickel bag
Seeds collect like dirt
Exhale to release the hurt

If there was a moral
At the very least a solvent point
A diagram of disorder
Dismembered at the throat
Stimulation of the libido
Pointless games
A face held incognito
Puff and pass the joint

If this were a mockery
What do you call what you wrote
Gibberish sitting next to me
Leave it to you to tell a bad joke
Constantly bombarded
My vision retarded
Here you go, have the last toke

_______________
__________________

Copyright Â© Jyssvw ... [ 2006-05-17 12:18:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Embryonic Fluid (User Rating: 1 )
by desireemiote on Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 12:24:31 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Nice poem but I'll have to pass on the joint:)
Megan(and her bun in the oven)

Re: Embryonic Fluid (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 11:27:45 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hah! that was great. I really enjoyed that.
Nice rhyme scheme and content.
Theres something in this piece i just cant put my finger on....maybe a little abstract in some places.
A rather nostalgic write.
Well expressed and planned out!

well done :)

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