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Array ( [sid] => 120700 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Drunk [time] => 2006-05-24 19:00:22 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Goodbye
Farewell
See you tomorrow
Burn in hell
Lost
Tossed
At the bottom no matter the cost

A state of altered consciousness
Altering the state of how it feels
Jump
Let them take the air that grinds and reels

Who's a lover?
Who's a fighter?
Where are my cigarettes?
Where is my lighter?

What else could you take from me?
Am I to obey the stupid rules laid upon the table?
Am I to be recognized
As something lost and in-fabl-
ized
Utterly surprised
Rest in peace
Then we'll meet
Around the bend, on Quarter Street

Huff, puff, huff
Tiddily tiddily tough
Show your teeth
Under the kitchen sink

On the way
By the way
To your desire
There will be fire
Burning
Turning
Twisting
Double fisting
I wish it was '85
Not yet ready to be alive

Right up off the street
Like a spider crawling and spinning his web
With a smile for a while
The greatest thing I ever had the opportunity to have met

I want to be the sun
I want to be the air
I want everything thats coming
With the wind whipping through my hair

You say
Okay
I wait
Sedate

Across the field
In the wild blue
I ran right
Into new

Someone is hiding
Drowning in despair
Who is it?
Do we even care?

I'm here
So clear
The way
Today

I want to wrestle with my inhibitions
With my negative decisions
Alright
Lets go
Here we are
They will never know

Like a drug
That I never put down
Like feeling drunk
With a smile, not a frown

Blinding
Conniving
Who's malicious
Absolutely delicious

You're turning
I'm burning
Away
Today
Somehow
Right now [comments] => 4 [counter] => 169 [topic] => 54 [informant] => Exodus [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => happypoetry )
Drunk

Contributed by Exodus on Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 07:00:22 PM in AEST
Topic: happypoetry



Goodbye
Farewell
See you tomorrow
Burn in hell
Lost
Tossed
At the bottom no matter the cost

A state of altered consciousness
Altering the state of how it feels
Jump
Let them take the air that grinds and reels

Who's a lover?
Who's a fighter?
Where are my cigarettes?
Where is my lighter?

What else could you take from me?
Am I to obey the stupid rules laid upon the table?
Am I to be recognized
As something lost and in-fabl-
ized
Utterly surprised
Rest in peace
Then we'll meet
Around the bend, on Quarter Street

Huff, puff, huff
Tiddily tiddily tough
Show your teeth
Under the kitchen sink

On the way
By the way
To your desire
There will be fire
Burning
Turning
Twisting
Double fisting
I wish it was '85
Not yet ready to be alive

Right up off the street
Like a spider crawling and spinning his web
With a smile for a while
The greatest thing I ever had the opportunity to have met

I want to be the sun
I want to be the air
I want everything thats coming
With the wind whipping through my hair

You say
Okay
I wait
Sedate

Across the field
In the wild blue
I ran right
Into new

Someone is hiding
Drowning in despair
Who is it?
Do we even care?

I'm here
So clear
The way
Today

I want to wrestle with my inhibitions
With my negative decisions
Alright
Lets go
Here we are
They will never know

Like a drug
That I never put down
Like feeling drunk
With a smile, not a frown

Blinding
Conniving
Who's malicious
Absolutely delicious

You're turning
I'm burning
Away
Today
Somehow
Right now




Copyright © Exodus ... [ 2006-05-24 19:00:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Drunk (User Rating: 1 )
by Sordida on Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 07:14:27 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I must say that this is one of the best poems I've read on this site in a while. I absolutly love it. The whole style is so underused and fresh. The ryhme scheme is amazing. I could go on for hours. I am actually going to send this poem to my boyfriend so he can read it. Congratulations this is awesome!


Re: Drunk (User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 07:42:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
wonderfully written with the most playful of rhymes
and imagery. i'm at awe with the rhythmn and bounce
at your command... cheers to you.

On the way
By the way
To your desire
There will be fire
Burning
Turning
Twisting
Double fisting
I wish it was '85
Not yet ready to be alive

keep it up!


Re: Drunk (User Rating: 1 )
by djdarkrose04 on Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 08:49:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I dont know what it is that made me like this poem so much but i really do. I think its the rhyme! Great piece!


Re: Drunk (User Rating: 1 )
by twick on Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 11:16:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I really liked this one, extremely clever, It's nice to find a gem when everything else is costume jewerly and this one is a gem!




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