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Array
(
[sid] => 12100
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Dead, but Alive
[time] => 2003-02-07 07:00:00
[hometext] => * This deals with some happy topics. Personally I think it is rather good, but I will leave it up to you to determine that. *
[bodytext] =>
Inexplicably, I sit In some dark corner Adding a cut for every harsh thing said to me Voices in my head influence me Congratulating, praising for every cut I smile some encouragement all I crave Squishing further into my forlorn corner By doing so digging another foot of earth Cutting some more, the blood flows My hands move like lightning Trying to sop up the blood, some tears come Gradually I lose, its like trying to stop a battalion With one wounded, pitiful, weakened peasant The cuts grow red and angry The tranquility gives way to anguish I cry like some bewitched savage Lumber into the hallway Roll around as if I'm on fire Lick at the floor, my tongue turns to dust My mind I lock in place I stumble 'round with the composure of a drunk Line up some pills, my friends Effexor, Lithium, Ativan, Paxil Tylenol 3's, Tylenol with codeine, Coumadins, Advil... their all here I down them all The warmth of ecstasy spreads across me The healing balm covers my wounds My limbs grow weak My eyes roll back I slump to the ground I'm alive, but I'm dead I'm alive, but I'm dead My eyes shut tight My mouth turns from a frown To a frozen smile And why shouldn't I? I've escaped, free at last I'm alive, but no longer on this earth [comments] => 8 [counter] => 244 [topic] => 36 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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