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Your hunger
Contributed by
unbreakable
on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 07:19:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Consumed by your hunger, my own went unfed
An unlikely means to an end
This was my life until you made it yours
A truth Im unable to mend
I'd like to say that I never gave up
But each breath was lost to your sea
You coursed through my body, you tortured my mind
I forgot what it meant to be me
A slave to each need, every waking desire
Somehow I remained unaware
My emptiness grew from beneath the skin
Then I knew what it meant to despair
I resembled a portrait of nothingness
was the air that I couldn't inhale
Though I witnessed your presence destroy my soul
to defy you would be to fail
I can never go back to the person I was
For she was swallowed whole
Your hunger devoured me one piece at a time
desperation took it's toll
"I'd give anything to undo what's been done."
I wish I could say this were true
There's only one thing in this world I won't give
That which has bound me to you
The question that haunts me, that wont leave my mind
Is a piece of the puzzle I lost
Ive been denied truth, though I couldnt say
What this unanswered question has cost
Why can't I be beautiful in my own eyes,
why won't you let me see
that I could be worth more than nothing,
is there something to value in me?
Copyright ©
unbreakable
... [
2006-06-10 19:19:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Your hunger
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 12:10:55 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| What an ending. Open-ended, but rhetoric if you truly take the time to consider it. This was awesome, I can see the effort put into it. You paid attention to rhyme scheme, subject matter, and there's a lot to think about here. Heh, I haven't commented on a poem in so long around here, it'd probably be a bit easier to say this stuff to you the next time we talk..lol. But anyways it was a great piece to read, the bottom line is I enjoyed it (it's easy to be swallowed up by another person in almost any kind of relationship, isn't it? You start doing things you said you'd never do...at least you could put it into a poem, so that's a plus :P ). |
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Re: Your hunger
(User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on
Sunday, 27th August 2006 @ 08:22:54 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This work of yours has made tears fall
My heart understands and empathizes
with your imprisonment of soul. You
conveyed your pain and desperation
so beautifully, and hauntingly. Very,
very well done! Bravo!
Laurie |
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