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Array
(
[sid] => 12255
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Death is beyond my silent tears
[time] => 2003-02-09 05:30:00
[hometext] => I dont like the format in this poem, i think it is too jumpy; but please read, and comment, i enjoy comments on my work, it makes me feel more comfortable in my writing, knowing where it stands. so please comment, whether it be good or bad, i appreciate it. Thanx!
~peace out
[bodytext] => I wish to die. Let me be, I am dying.
I am hollow. Empty inside.
No feelings... no happiness, not even fear.
No life. I am not living.
--but I am not dead.
Looking at the pills lined up so neatly, I think to myself “what shall I take, so I can die discreetly?”
No one would know. Not until I am gone.
I call out into the nothingness, “Oh please God let me die!”
I am not living, and I am not dead. How can the non-living die?
Oh how I cry, “Let me die!” But no one can hear my silent tears.
I cry my silent tears
Silent tears, no one knows
My dying soul, none fear
Hollow heart, they claim to love
Made-up face, can they tell?
Bright smile, there's nothing wrong
But inside--there are silent tears pouring out of my hollow, empty heart and soul.
I am alive, though dying dead.
I can no longer live in this world. It is not my own.
Disenchanted, disconnected, discontented, disconcerted, disconsolate
But apart from all else--
This is not my world.
[comments] => 8
[counter] => 298
[topic] => 36
[informant] => kegs04
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 4
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
Death is beyond my silent tears
Contributed by
kegs04
on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 05:30:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I wish to die. Let me be, I am dying.
I am hollow. Empty inside.
No feelings... no happiness, not even fear.
No life. I am not living.
--but I am not dead.
Looking at the pills lined up so neatly, I think to myself “what shall I take, so I can die discreetly?”
No one would know. Not until I am gone.
I call out into the nothingness, “Oh please God let me die!”
I am not living, and I am not dead. How can the non-living die?
Oh how I cry, “Let me die!” But no one can hear my silent tears.
I cry my silent tears
Silent tears, no one knows
My dying soul, none fear
Hollow heart, they claim to love
Made-up face, can they tell?
Bright smile, there's nothing wrong
But inside--there are silent tears pouring out of my hollow, empty heart and soul.
I am alive, though dying dead.
I can no longer live in this world. It is not my own.
Disenchanted, disconnected, discontented, disconcerted, disconsolate
But apart from all else--
This is not my world.
Copyright ©
kegs04
... [
2003-02-09 05:30:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Patterz on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 01:54:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The "jumpiness" as you put it, makes this poem really good because short lines put a sense of urgency across, like thoughts that just pop into your head randomly (i find those are mostly negative for me as they are in the poem). And you mix it with long flowing lines which kinda of gives the feeling of contemplation, or, something that you are really thinking about...something wtih meaning.
really awsome poem
i donno if my analysis of this poem is remotely correct to how u wrote it but thats just how i took it. I really liked it either way...
good write, keep it up
Patterz |
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fiona on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 02:55:51 PM AEST
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This is a really good poem...Good job
lots of love, *Fiona* |
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Sunday, 9th February 2003 @ 03:43:49 PM AEST
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| i really really love this...'this is not my world'...something i feel all the time... |
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 11:29:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Kegso4, well I made it as I promised. Now I know a little more about you I'm shocked by the detachment with which you write. I think I must be about 60 years older than you and hope for at least another 10. I haven't enjoyed all of them but wouldn't have missed it for the world.
You write extreemly well. Such creativity promises rich experience. Give it a try. If you really intended to put an end to your life you would have done it. It's dead easy, jump off a cliff. BUT YOU HAVEN'T. Answer me this What's stopping you? How do you Know death will be an improvement?
Good poem, very good poem.( I suppose we'll disagree over this one too.) |
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by kegs04 on
Tuesday, 11th February 2003 @ 01:15:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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no disagreements here. I know very good and well that suicide is not the answer i am looking for. However, it is a fun option to think about when i am extremely depressed. I dont believe i will ever actually do any real harm to myself, not enough to kill me anyway.
lol, on a lighter note: I live in a desert land, there is not ANY elevation for several hundred miles. (i live in a small texas town) So jumping off a cliff is really harder than it may seem. ;-)
I am only joking tho. I wont do that.
I read in a previous comment by you to another author that you were close to 80, so you are at least 63 or 4 years older, just an fyi, i suppose.
I am glad that you like my writing. I enjoy positive criticism and encouragement immensely. Thanks again,
~"kegs"
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallensilence on
Tuesday, 18th March 2003 @ 09:16:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is probably one of the top five poems that i have ever read on this site. wow. i just dont have the words to tell you how this poem made me feel. there is so much emotion....if only i could write something with so much power and so much life! god...the last line "this is not my world" , it says so much in its simplicity. please keep posting i will be looking forward to reading new works by you. -david |
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by kegs04 on
Thursday, 20th March 2003 @ 08:05:35 PM AEST
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thanx for your comment.. lol you may have given me a big head! ;-) unfortunatly, i am having some sort of writers block if you'd like to call it such. I hope to be writing again soon tho! When i write i dont ever PLAN to write, with this one I was doing something completely unrelated and it just popped into my head and i jotted it down on a scrap of paper. lol I dont know where the inspiration came from, except that i know that this is how i felt, and sometimes still feel. I believe that feelings are the most powerful tool you can have-- the only one really-- when writing. Feelings and emotion are the "power" that i have in my poetry.
Thanx again for the feedback, as always it is much appreciated.
~kegs
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Re: Death is beyond my silent tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfflow on
Sunday, 30th March 2003 @ 01:04:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this poem really works the way it is |
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