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Array ( [sid] => 122665 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The letter [time] => 2006-07-03 04:25:20 [hometext] => [bodytext] => From where I'm standing
i can see
a woman
dressed in black;
She leans her back
on the wall;
writes a letter
on a piece of fabric.
A beggar passes by,
leaves a coin
on her feet.
He walks; asks from me
his coin back.
An old man
throws it at me,
the beggar grasps it
in his palm.
Passively
he sits at the corner
of the street
takes out his hat
puts the coin in,
crosses his legs...waits..
I turn..I look
at the woman
She has changed her dress;
its colour
is blue.
I feel her sorrow
and his
inside me
as one.
A tear,
from my left eye,
falls
on my cheek.
The woman
wipes it out
gently
with her silk dress.
She leaves the letter
on my hands;
asks from me
to deliver it
to the beggar. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 282 [topic] => 43 [informant] => brainscol [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

The letter

Contributed by brainscol on Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 04:25:20 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

From where I'm standing
i can see
a woman
dressed in black;
She leans her back
on the wall;
writes a letter
on a piece of fabric.
A beggar passes by,
leaves a coin
on her feet.
He walks; asks from me
his coin back.
An old man
throws it at me,
the beggar grasps it
in his palm.
Passively
he sits at the corner
of the street
takes out his hat
puts the coin in,
crosses his legs...waits..
I turn..I look
at the woman
She has changed her dress;
its colour
is blue.
I feel her sorrow
and his
inside me
as one.
A tear,
from my left eye,
falls
on my cheek.
The woman
wipes it out
gently
with her silk dress.
She leaves the letter
on my hands;
asks from me
to deliver it
to the beggar.

Copyright © brainscol ... [ 2006-07-03 04:25:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The letter (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 11:51:01 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Welcome to YPDC.

This is an unusual first submissions. I've had to read it three times.

I like how it almost seems like a dream sequence to me. Something slightly surreal.

I wonder what the source of inspiration was for this write.

Anyway, again, welcome, and good write.

Phil xxx

Re: The letter (User Rating: 1 )
by April90 on Monday, 1st September 2008 @ 12:46:31 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I see good imagery and a rather unusual structure here.

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