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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 09-June 22:54:44 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 123433
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Paranoid Recluse
[time] => 2006-07-19 16:06:52
[hometext] => 18 yrs old..
[bodytext] => i am a recluse, with nothing positive in my mind. simple tasks seems enormous when seen through my eyes. anxiety and paranoia they consume my days. force fed like a baby because i would rather die. sleep doesn't come, my life is anything but normal. too scared to step outside, too occupied with the way i am. memory doesnt prevail, too many anxious thoughts. that i wouldn't want to remember. scared of myself and the state that i am in. never learned anything, like how to function in society. hid under the radar for so many years, days are in a cloud. forgetting everything that i thought i had learned. i am becoming an infant all over again. looking back, never had what they had, never saw what they saw. tired, just so tired of this life that i lead. jokes on me, yea the joke is on me. can't even go to work with the thoughts that consume my head. don't want to speak, because i hate what i am. i am the sufferer and they are the witnesses. sitting for days with nothing sparking in my mind. im like a vegetable, hemispheres aren't connected.. seretonin is depleted, and i ask god, why god.. have you dealt me this hand?...and why have i played it the way that i have? doctors cant find a problem, i must be clinically insane. death is in my head, it never leaves. its like a sigh of relief that i can't stop dwelling on. days turn into nights, and i am all alone.. again and again, i wish i had a skill, a skill worthwhile. to turn this negative energy into positive light. and as days go by, i just wish they would end... [comments] => 1 [counter] => 235 [topic] => 13 [informant] => frmpoison2static [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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