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Array ( [sid] => 129304 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => the right [time] => 2006-12-12 05:42:23 [hometext] => the second poem that i wrote about my father who abandoned me [bodytext] => What gives you the right

What gives you the right
To do what you did
You thought it would ruin your life
To just leave this kid
A kid who was yours
Your own flesh and blood
To just walk away
Turn and run
Not thinking of the future
Not thinking of your boy
Just thinking about how you feel
Playing with my life like a toy
Didn't want responsibility
Didn't want a child
Leaving my life empty
Meaningless and wild
Wild with thoughts of how it could have been
Not knowing what its like to have the influence of men
To grow up
To learn it alone
Made me hate you
And made my heart cold
Now as I get older I try to reason
Reason with my heart
Reason with my mind
Trying to give you an excuse
Just trying to find
What could make you so cold
Trying to think trying to fight
But I can't
All I can think about is what gave you the
right
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 152 [topic] => 22 [informant] => stlcardinals06 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

the right

Contributed by stlcardinals06 on Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 05:42:23 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

What gives you the right

What gives you the right
To do what you did
You thought it would ruin your life
To just leave this kid
A kid who was yours
Your own flesh and blood
To just walk away
Turn and run
Not thinking of the future
Not thinking of your boy
Just thinking about how you feel
Playing with my life like a toy
Didn't want responsibility
Didn't want a child
Leaving my life empty
Meaningless and wild
Wild with thoughts of how it could have been
Not knowing what its like to have the influence of men
To grow up
To learn it alone
Made me hate you
And made my heart cold
Now as I get older I try to reason
Reason with my heart
Reason with my mind
Trying to give you an excuse
Just trying to find
What could make you so cold
Trying to think trying to fight
But I can't
All I can think about is what gave you the
right

Copyright © stlcardinals06 ... [ 2006-12-12 05:42:23]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: the right (User Rating: 1 )
by WhitePlacid on Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 07:05:15 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

very nice and touching....i am an amatuer myself in writing poems....but i think i can suggest that it could have been more lyrical..cause i think that would make ur emotions even more powerfull.....i hope u see what i mean!!!!
good luck!

Re: the right (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 04:18:06 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

very emotional and powerful write.. you can feel the pain in this piece.. its very touching and you expressed your feelings well in here.. great job

JENNI

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