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Array
(
[sid] => 131124
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Anger;
[time] => 2007-01-29 05:46:23
[hometext] => ( i hate you. )
[bodytext] => my black fingernails scraping angrily against my face, smearing my make-up worse than the tears i'm drowning in. stomach flipping but i can't feel it, this pain is an everyday struggle that i fight. and i hear you coming, limping down the hall, where do i begin? you ask whats wrong, and i tell you time after time, i can't talk when i cry. but you insist on staying, making things worse, how i want to scream. asking again if its him, the boy, its never the boy, leave him out of it, i love him. i can't hold it back, go away, walk away,and i'm not trying to make a scene. this anger keeps building, just the sound of your voice, makes me want to slit my wrists. staring, they look so pretty, and i, so goddamn perfect, so you think, you're wrong. cramped up so painfully, my corner, alone. the walls meshing with my fists. but i won't ever, i can't, never. slit again, drink again, smoke again, breath again. because you, love, have saved me, from sins as they say, the things that help me escape, from hell. if she so much as hurts me again, what should i do then? think of you. that's it. but i'm hurting, no escapes now, i hurt, i'm angry, not okay, at all. can you tell? placing the fire where it belongs, the scent tries to calm me, but nothing does better than these pills. pop one, two, five minutes later turns to fifteen of those pills. what're you doing hun? an attempt to destroy. and it hurts, but less phyically, can pills help mentally? no babe, only temporarily. trying so hard to get too much better, all for this, for him, this boy. anger never goes away, only hidden from eyes, but it burns, and it's building, GET THE ***** AWAY. violence takes place in the form of love, you say, family, family issues, every family has them, right? not this kind, when you hit me, hurt me, step on me, treat me like *****. i deserve it, is that it? not every family has this, this isn't a family. you're ***** up. this is more than a little fight. the similar scene, black fingernails scraping angrily against my face, smearing my make-up worse than the tears i'm drowning in. stomach flipping but i can't feel it, this pain is an everyday struggle that i fight. and i hear you coming, limping down the hall, where do i begin? 2 [counter] => 193 [topic] => 43 [informant] => xDiSaStErPiEcEx [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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