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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 13:06:32 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 131831
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Where Did the Tiger Go?
[time] => 2007-02-17 03:03:22
[hometext] => Medicine that was suppose to help me, changed me, and the withdrawals have appeared to seal its affects.
[bodytext] => I used to have the courage of a tiger, I once felt I could overcome any feat, I used to have a will of steel, I felt strong and rooted like a tall oak tree, The strength of 3 lions ran through my veins, I achieved the lions stare and roar, I was a soldier, hardened and confident, Aware as I walked the Jungles floor, There was no obstacle I couldn’t overcome, I laughed in the face of fear, I was hungry for life and hungry, I, back then had a reflection in a mirror, Today, I have been stripped of all my qualities, I am now insecure and shivering, My words used to have meaning, Now I speak broken, like wood that’s slivering, I was fine up to that day, When I was told modern medicine could give me the cure, I thought I had found my remedy, Thought I found my destiny when I met her, But the medicine was still given, They said it would be beneficial, The drug changed my personality and re wired my brain, She was still there when the fog cleared, it was still her, but I had lost will, Withdrawals brought back those courage’s days in the jungle, But only in nightmares, as my identity was medically stolen, The savannah inside of me was now deserted, the lions were extinct, A once warmhearted strong man, now scared of his own shadow, in time I felt frozen, I still bear the tigers marks, But inside I am less then an alley cat, She says she sees me slowly recovering, That’s nice, however when will she be back, The withdrawals burdened our relationship, She tried to stand strong next to me, But she made no attempt to help recover my identity, She felt terrorized by my subconscious tainted withdrawing words, She can’t understand I need her help to fine my loss of my self dignity, I am making every attempt, man made and self emotional, To bounce back and recover my twisted hard drive, I seek help from others, But here at home, no questions asked, she shows no concern, just agitation, frustration, can we make it? Will we survive? Every day I wake up willing to take the next step, I love her and she says I have her support, I tell her repeatedly what the medicine did to my being, But she doesn’t have time to listen, into her own domain, her own world she resorts, I am not perfect, and I know I can instigate, But she doesn’t realize that I battle three feelings, She will fire at will and she means what she says, I can admit I speak wrongfully out of anger and frustration, She shows no energy to help me, even when my mind is burning and for help I am screaming, She has never sought advice or help for her trauma, The trauma she was hit with when she stood by my side loyal and strong, She truly believes it’s only me with the problems and the need for recovery, She is so damaged by what the meds did to me in turn to her, she thinks she is fine and cannot be wrong, I stare into the mirror and see no reflection, There was a day last week I was starting to see a faint vision, But now the mirror is only black and dull, Every single day we butt heads with a full speed head on collision, She thinks I hate her, That’s the further from the truth, I‘ve loved her from day one, I respect her for standing by my side at my worst, I thought I was springing up from the ground again, but I feel she constantly cuts my roots, Please open your eyes babe, and realize the road to recovery is a slow and winding one, I am doing all I can to overcome this, some day these withdrawal affects will be gone, and I will be free, But I need to know your intentions now, not in a scream or as in an order, Are you beyond handling this situation? Do you want it to still be always us? Or do you wish to set me free, and your peace may return if you return to your prior state, loneliness with thee? [comments] => 2 [counter] => 158 [topic] => 61 [informant] => macgyver_dk [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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