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Array
(
[sid] => 131898
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Turnup's Christmas Card
[time] => 2007-02-19 16:23:40
[hometext] => Turnup often finds himself in 'sticky' situations..... (adult references)
[bodytext] => Turnup’s Christmas Card Recently The wife was makin’ Christmas cards To send, come Christmas next In Turnup’s thoughts, the ribbon box Was the perfect place to nest So He snuck inside the tangled mass An’ curled up in a ball This curlin’ took some furlin’ He is chubby after all When The wife run out of Elmer’s She went lookin’ fer some glue Sure enough she found Super stuff It was frikkin’ sticky too Well You might know the phone would ring An’ it would be her sister Yackety yak ‘fore she got back Turnup woke an’ missed ‘er Yaaaawwwnnn He thought he’d check the table top Fer unattended treats But what he got, sure was unsought Stuff was stickin’ to his feets What th’ ??? He’d stick one out an’ shake it But when he set it down Tinsel, glitter and other litter To his toes was bound It gets worse In amongst the clutter Were brightly colored balls When Turnup sat, imagine that Got the picture ya’ll Helllllp ! With a bowlegg’d, straddle, waddle The poor cat tried to run With hiss an’ spit an’ tizzy fit An’ decorated buns Stop, drop an’ roll Turnup ! The room was gettin’ smaller As Turnup’s tensions grew As super glued an’ paper shoed Up the drapes he flew Help’s on the way That’s where the missus found him Atop the curtain rod She left the room to fetch the broom “I’ll get you down, by God!” Epilogue To clean a cat by shaving Might seem akin to sin But scissors cuts around his nuts Took me an’ two good men [comments] => 3 [counter] => 205 [topic] => 7 [informant] => feralpen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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