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Sick
Contributed by
sena
on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 08:04:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
I'm sick again
Too much stress
The doctor called
I failed the tests
Perplexed by my problems
They want me to go
Another specialist to be seen
Tumors continuing to grow
There is no fix
So learn to live
Much pain and frustration
I have nothing left to give
More needle sticks
I say, no thanks
You have to have it they say
Sending me directly to the blood bank
Only if you have experience
I say to the phleb walking toward me
No...not there... as they stick the needle
Watching my veins refuse to bleed
I told you so
But you wouldn't listen
Now comes another
With needles that glisten
Just one more try
Then you can leave
Make a fist
While I adjust your sleeve
I say a prayer inside my head
Just let them get my blood this morn
The vacutainer begins to fill
Lucky this time...veins so worn
A few bandages later
An apology follows
They see my tension
They sense my sorrow
Glad that they got
Those few drops of blood
Perhaps enough to tell
Wether or not I have a bug
Wait while we run the tests
For it might not be enough
I sit waiting, impatiently
While praying to above
Forty five minutes later
I'm told that its okay
The doctor should have the results
In just a matter of days
Now go home I'm told
Am tired and am hurting
Its such a long drive
My wounds I am nursing
Stop...don't turn right
For you live there no longer
Make a left instead
Head back to your mothers
Alone in the car
Tears stream for the hour
Driving in a daze, I make it back
Walk in...straight to the shower
It is the only place
Where I can be alone
There is no privacy here
For this isn't my home
I feel like a stray
So wounded, so shattered
Don't know where I belong
So angry...so tattered
A few days go by
Then the phone rings
Its the doctor calling
I need to be seen
Immediately they want me there
But I'm too far away
Too tired to care
So I make an appointment
For the next day
Drive back to the town
Where you pushed me away
I can't keep doing this
Driving back and forth
For every time I do my heart
Is doused and lit with a torch
Have to find new doctors
New lab to draw my blood
But noone wants to see me
Too many problems, too much crud
I pull into his office
Am told I need a shot
It will only hurt a little
Liar...it hurt alot
New medicine to be on
The antibiotics no longer work
You need a central line
Hidden beneath your shirt
We want to admit you
For IVs and observation
Shaking my head I refuse
A hundred times I've had this conversation
So they continue writing
In my thickest chart
That I refused once again
Refused to play the part
In their poking and prodding
Can't they see I've had enough?
I won't do it again
Have to stay strong, stay tough
I'm tired of being a pin cushion
A case to be reviewed
Need to find some peace
So my spirit can renew
These problems have no solution
There is no cure in sight
Live with the pain, continue therapy
Don't argue, don't be trite
But if I don't take control
My doctors they would take
My only freedom left
Poking and prodding for research sake
I refuse to be
Strapped to a bed
To be stuck repeatedly
To let them in my head
If there isn't hope
Or nothing to be done
Then being hospitalized serves no purpose
Other than to create a bill larger than the sun!
Copyright ©
sena
... [
2007-03-15 20:04:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sick
(User Rating: 1 )
by Malcolmsdreamgirl on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 06:23:36 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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WOW oh WOW... there is so much pent up pain and anger in this write, and yet a tired exhausted and lonely unhappy person ... wanting to walk away forever....
My heart was moved by these powerful words and feelings
Beautifully written ... yet so so sad ...
Dee xx |
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Re: Sick
(User Rating: 1 )
by kelkel on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 11:47:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very sad poem and also moving you are a good writer |
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Re: Sick
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loriann on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 09:25:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow this is such a heart wretching write. I feel the pain from the write. This was truely a very emotional write. Thank you so much for sharing this. Hard to hold back the tears from reading this but Ienjoyes it very much.
Loriann |
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