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An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Sunday, 18th March 2007 @ 10:12:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
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A sadness dark- too dark for tears
Is cast upon my soul
Too dark to feel
Too dark to breathe
Please sunrise do not linger far
Bring your warmth and bring your heat
Your light so hesitant, yet bright
Let calm surround insanity
And bring me back to what I know
To smiles, to laughs
To love
Rain fall down and cleanse my skin
Wash me clean and leave me cold
Let me feel the tears of angels
Let my tears be mingled there
Help me shoulder all my pain
Leave me weeping in the rain
Silence reigns across the sea
Stars reflect on surface vast
Strength contained, unseen by me
But I break free and scream at last!
Crash on me, destroy whats left!
Tear apart what still remains!
Rend skin from bone, with sand and stone
Im broken, torn apart inside
Please let the surface match the core
For I am dead inside
And stars, yes stars
Still bright at night
Still shining through the fog
Youve heard my words, you know my pain
Youve held me tight, and helped me dream
You keep me wishing, still I wander
Still I walk the paths of sorrow
Lit by stars that know my dreams
Led by lights that know my love
Stop and leave behind the past
Look behind and let it go
Rise above the pain you hide
Let go of sorrow, deep inside
Still all in me yearns to be free
Please love let go of me
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2007-03-18 22:12:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mesano on
Sunday, 18th March 2007 @ 10:34:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| nice job, keep it up |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 08:52:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I love how this poem feels as if you are issuing challenges to the rain and the stars. Bold statements that are also emotional creating an endearing vulnerability in this poem. Well done!
Dom |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 04:44:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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David, there's an abundance of wonderful imagery here.
And so much raw emotion .. a brave outpouring ~
The last line, to me, is so profound. And such a statement
of where we, as humans, find ourselves so often. Mixed up
in the agony and euphoria of love .. it can be so gloriously
painful, no?
I hope for a brighter day for you, my friend. Lovely piece.
~Breezy |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 06:06:54 PM AEST
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David... This will pass, I promise you that.
It won't let go...there is more for you still. I am sure of it.
I think this is one of your better ones. Perhaps because there is so much emotion behind it. It's very you.
I am here for you, my friend.
(Don't give up)
Take care.
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 20th March 2007 @ 12:05:56 AM AEST
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David,
twice through and I am feeling the need to inquire and offer ... slight changes ...
"Lit be stars that know my dreams ... " was that indeed supposed to read BE or do I see that more correctly by envisioning a BY in there instead ?
And your last line ... beautiful it is ... I do confess ... though I for some unknown reason feel the need to add MY to it ... with every read ...
"Please MY love, let go of me"
I think it may just be me ... I'm weird that way ...
Nazzy ~
( who did appreciate the post and admires the writer immensely )
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 20th March 2007 @ 01:23:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow this is a bit sad but awesomely written,
That last stanza brought tears.
I just don't have words to discribe this masterpeice and how moving it is.
Big huggs, luv,
emy |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 23rd March 2007 @ 06:24:20 PM AEST
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David~
The imagery you cast into the readers head is absolutely beautiful. Your write is emotionally packed and I commend you for pouring out your deepest emotions from your beautiful yet pained heart. May time be kind enough to you my dear friend and heal your wounded heart real soon. There will be much brighter days in store for you David you'll see my dear friend.
A sad, heart touching write beautifully penned.
love, hugs n prayers,
sue m |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 18th April 2007 @ 03:01:55 PM AEST
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very moving, beautiful....
love n' hugs nessa |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sasha on
Thursday, 26th April 2007 @ 04:54:43 PM AEST
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| Beautifully told... makes me think you are almost romancing pain; so much pain and yet, the way you have expressed it, makes it all so rich in emotions!! |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Monday, 3rd September 2007 @ 01:12:22 PM AEST
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David,
It's been a LONG time since I've talked to you and I rarely read poetry on the site anymore.
Reading this makes me remember everything I'd learned about you--and grown fond of, my friend. This is so full of YOU, of raw, real, romantic David. I love that about it.
The flow of the poem is a lot like how most of mine go. I guess that might be why I relate to it as well as I do.
However, that last line just about breaks my heart. Don't let love let go of you! Pursue it until you're back in its embrace! I beg you, don't let it let go!
Love and peace,
your old friend |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Monday, 3rd September 2007 @ 02:00:45 PM AEST
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| great write |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Sunday, 9th December 2007 @ 11:54:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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i think you have a fantastic gift with words.
the more i read, the more glued my eyes became to your poem.
not many poems carry such a deep effect as this poem has done for me.
good job! |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th March 2009 @ 07:26:36 AM AEST
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this poem got through to me. it was deep, vivid and magical. great work once again.
-phil |
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Re: An Unborn Dream Among the Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 17th September 2013 @ 01:53:57 AM AEST
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A myriad of intense feelings. While there are a lot of great lines residing within this masterful artwork, this one especially reached out and grabbed me for some reason:
Let calm surround insanity
My guess is that I relate so well to this yearning for calm to surround my insanity and take it over.
Thank you for a great read!
Tim |
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