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He rips my world apart
Contributed by
Siri_Holm
on
Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 07:06:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
He rips my world apart
It is strange when you dont know if hes a friend or a lover
Ive lost all my sense
It is strange when his kisses leave you stunned
He has taken all my principles
It is strange when all your words says friend, but every touch says lover
Im losing my self
It is strange to know that he still loves her
I know his thoughts, and he knows mine
It is strange when he asks if he should stop, and you wouldnt stop him for the world
He has changed me but Im still the same
It is strange to always wonder why after hes gone
He is ripping everything I know apart, and I dont care
Copyright ©
Siri_Holm
... [
2007-03-25 07:06:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: He rips my world apart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 05:32:25 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Wow! Short, yet potent! The leading of the first line into what I see here as the most masterful line (which would be line two) is very well done and captured me immediately. A very tragic story here, one some of us know all too well except for me it's women not men, lol. All in all a great job.
My only criticism which has nothing to do with the poem itself is that you shouldn't space between lines, only stanzas. It just doesn't format well on the site that way and is a little more difficult to read. Other than that GREAT JOB!
- SCM |
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