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Array ( [sid] => 133638 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => From Somber to Uncertainty [time] => 2007-04-19 12:53:04 [hometext] => This isn't done yet and I dont know if I'll finish it. Leave me some comments telling whether you think I should continue to work on it or not...I don't think its turning out too well so i'd like some feedback... [bodytext] => Akin to dim lit embers of a shattered waning flame,
The winds of time flew swiftly by and stripped my foul name.
For once where I had held a role in sable, willowed halls,
A tragic truth had born itself beneath the moonlit falls.

A veil of silence followed suit while loneliness took part
As guardian and savior of my maledicting heart.
I cursed the world and all its flaws, its hoary fabled lore.
My life was grand but now in death I found I hungered more.

T’was not enough to idly sit and bathe in death’s embrace,
For out the grave came timely cause and utter self disgrace.
No mortal sustenance could calm my squalid, carnal pine,
So within time I paid a price, a hefty hallowed fine.

[Not completed yet] [comments] => 3 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Gravehorn [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

From Somber to Uncertainty

Contributed by Gravehorn on Thursday, 19th April 2007 @ 12:53:04 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Akin to dim lit embers of a shattered waning flame,
The winds of time flew swiftly by and stripped my foul name.
For once where I had held a role in sable, willowed halls,
A tragic truth had born itself beneath the moonlit falls.

A veil of silence followed suit while loneliness took part
As guardian and savior of my maledicting heart.
I cursed the world and all its flaws, its hoary fabled lore.
My life was grand but now in death I found I hungered more.

T’was not enough to idly sit and bathe in death’s embrace,
For out the grave came timely cause and utter self disgrace.
No mortal sustenance could calm my squalid, carnal pine,
So within time I paid a price, a hefty hallowed fine.

[Not completed yet]

Copyright Â© Gravehorn ... [ 2007-04-19 12:53:04]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: From Somber to Uncertainty (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Thursday, 19th April 2007 @ 01:05:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Personally I don't see any thing wrong with this as is.
Very thought provoking write.
huggs,
emy

Re: From Somber to Uncertainty (User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on Thursday, 19th April 2007 @ 10:18:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I have to agree. I think it is a very good poem right now. Hopefully you will finish it. You are doing a good job. Great poem so far.

Take care
christina

Re: From Somber to Uncertainty (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Saturday, 21st April 2007 @ 03:32:02 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

We are our own worst critic, I think this is sound and solid, written with the touch of a poetic with talent.

Michelle

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