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Array ( [sid] => 134900 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => For My Broken Mind [time] => 2007-06-02 17:09:54 [hometext] => It makes sense yet it doesn't, its what went through my broken mind when I had a fight with my brother. [bodytext] => Strings slipping through my hand's.
Blank antidotes for me, fear me?
Dead in my bed, all thats seen is red.
Crimson lights so delicate, fierce to wed.
Cover my bloody head.

She who tears, for my haunting years.
Bare and plain to be so vain.
For a fool?
Was I so Cruel?

Making fun that you won,
laugh, yes laugh at me who is free.
Shred everthing that ment most.
Become the host, to know pleasure.
Is one's own treasure, you'll be severed.

Bathed from tip to stem, coughed up flem.
Hair smelled of vodka, soon to compelled.
For a fool?
Was I so Cruel? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 315 [topic] => 59 [informant] => Nauzzica [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => psychoticpoems )

For My Broken Mind

Contributed by Nauzzica on Saturday, 2nd June 2007 @ 05:09:54 PM in AEST
Topic: psychoticpoems

Strings slipping through my hand's.
Blank antidotes for me, fear me?
Dead in my bed, all thats seen is red.
Crimson lights so delicate, fierce to wed.
Cover my bloody head.

She who tears, for my haunting years.
Bare and plain to be so vain.
For a fool?
Was I so Cruel?

Making fun that you won,
laugh, yes laugh at me who is free.
Shred everthing that ment most.
Become the host, to know pleasure.
Is one's own treasure, you'll be severed.

Bathed from tip to stem, coughed up flem.
Hair smelled of vodka, soon to compelled.
For a fool?
Was I so Cruel?

Copyright © Nauzzica ... [ 2007-06-02 17:09:54]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: For My Broken Mind (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 3rd June 2007 @ 02:47:27 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I personally would not call this a psychotic poem had you not placed it into that category. And yes while it is seems to be multi-subjected portions of your mind and imagination it does make sense. I think this is in a sense a very vague brilliance. I, myself (in my earlier years) wrote things like this. When a mind is jumbled it is hard to focus on one emotion or muse and let it out. That takes training and further writing. You have written a great work here well representing the pychology of a poet's mind when it is not focused.

While I would venture to say this will not be a well recieved by many because it is a bit confusing. Depth and the ability to write shines in this work of art. I see it and I see that other works of yours will most likely be something I can both relate to and will come to deeply enjoy. A diamond in the rough, and an all around good job!

BRAVO!

SCM

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