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Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend
Contributed by
Kie-Kie
on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 10:15:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I've never been "the pretty one"
I blend in with a crowd
I've never really achieved something
Well, nothing that made me proud
I guess that's why I never noticed
That someone noticed me
I guess he just couldn't tell
How borung I must be
If only he knew the truth
That there's nothing more to me
Nothing of interest to someone else
Just personal misery
He knows? He knows?
Then why does he still care?
Shouldn't this scare him away?
Maybe it's all just a dare
I knew it! I knew it!
I knew it couldn't be true
There's no way someone would notice me
Wait, what did he just do?
That can't be what just happened
He lent me his hand
Pulled me of the ground
I just don't understand
Why is he smiling?
He must think I'm crazy
But there's something in his eyes
It's making things hazy
Now he's always on my mind
Something must be wrong
No one has ever made me feel
Like I could actually belong
It's so strange for me
To be able to speak my mind
I wish that he weren't so perfect
He's too sweet, too kind
He must be hiding something
No one can be this pure
There must be a flaw somewhere
I'm positive, I'm sure
He's still talking to me
Like I'm actually a friend
I know this sounds odd
But I hope it won't end
What am I saying?
I know it can't be so
Everyone leaves me
Eventually he'll go
No, he's not like the rest
He actually wants to be there
He's my shoulder to cry on
Helping me cope with what I can't bear
Someone wants me to go to a dance
I'll play his little game
"My friend, my friend" he said
"But I can't reveal his name"
Well I know he wouldn't lie to me
But who else could have noticed?
I'm not exactly "Miss America"
I couldn't even make the tryout list
Still, someone likes me?
The feeling is splendid!
So what if it isn't him?
Our friendship hasn't ended
"Well if he asks, I'll go with him"
I told my best guy friend
"It's more complicated than that,
he's gone that weekend."
"Oh well," I thought
"It's for the best"
I didn't have time to worry
About how I could have dressed
High school started
everything's new
I grew up, so did he
I guess all people do
"How was your summer?"
I asked my best friend
"I spent most of it at home,
But I was still sad to see it end"
He replied, "Same for me
But there's someone I'd like you to meet
She's kind of new in town
My girlfriend, isn't she sweet?"
He was right, she certainly was
Sweet as she could be
But watching them be so close
Was almost killing me
I don't know why it did
But it tore at my heart
We were only friends I thought
But it's tearing me apart
I knew it all along
That he would hurt me too
That's why I never got too close
This was enough to go through
That night when we talked
It didn't feel right
Everything seemed wrong
Like it lost all delight
That's when I asked him
"Who was your friend?
The one that liked me last year"
Silence was came from his end
"What? Can't you tell me?"
We're in high school now."
All he said in reply was
"I'm trying to figure out how"
"It really can't be that difficult."
I felt my anger building
"You only have to say two words.
Is it really that confusing?"
I don't know why
But I left him there
He knew better than to follow me
Or maybe he was just scared
When I got home I realised
What had angered me
I was mad because he was happy
But how could that be?
It wasn't that he was happy
It was that I didn't see
The gleam that usually is in his eyes
When he talks to me
The gleam was gone away from me
Now he gave it to her
And when I tried to find someone
He woudn't give me an answer
After I calmed down I called him
"Hey I'm sorry, " I said.
"I don't know why I acted that way.
Maybe there's something wrong with my head"
"No," he replied
"I deserved that.
See I was being selfish,
And I'm the one you should be mad at"
I didn't respond, I couldn't
So he just went on
"See I've been keeping this secret from you
For far, far too long."
"It was me that wanted to ask you
But I was always too shy
I had heard you didn't feel the same
So I made up that lie"
"I've always felt that way," I said
"But I was afraid of you.
Afraid that if I got too close
You'd go and leave me too."
"Why would I have left?" he asked
"I'm your best friend.
I'm supposed to be there always,
Until the bitter end."
"I know that now," I sighed
"But I guess I'm too late.
I saw the way you looked at her.
Besides, you two looked great"
"I'm sorry, I really am.
I never even thought..."
And I almost burst into tears
Because I could tell he was distraught
"Don't" I said to him
"I'm a big girl now.
Trust me, I'll be fine.
I'll get through it somehow."
"After all, before you came
I made it on my own
Through all the other heartaches
I had to go through alone."
We haven't been as close since
And I still care for him a lot
But as long as he's happy
I'll settle for what I've got
She treats him well
]They're too perfect
But I guess I knew it would end this way
He was always worth it.
Copyright ©
Kie-Kie
... [
2007-06-15 10:15:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 11:29:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww hearts breaking....that was so well expressed. I felt it all.
Wonderful write! |
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