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Judgement Day
Contributed by
allforyou
on
Friday, 6th July 2007 @ 12:02:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
Everything's lost to the night,
save for two, white, burning lights,
your eyes, peering into mine like judgement day.
How quick the ticking stops,
and even quicker the liquor drops,
into the flesh of me, divulged like judgement day.
Your heart, like sand paper,
wears my knees down to a taper,
buckling now because we've come to judgment day.
Everything's lost in the plight,
save for brave souls set in sight,
you, in the distance disappear on judgement day.
Copyright ©
allforyou
... [
2007-07-06 12:02:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Judgement Day
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArkAngelGabriell on
Friday, 6th July 2007 @ 12:16:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the way the rhyme scheme goes and the overall tone of the poem. Bravo |
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Re: Judgement Day
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alex23 on
Friday, 6th July 2007 @ 01:13:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Lots of anger here with a good groove.
Good job! |
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Re: Judgement Day
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Friday, 6th July 2007 @ 03:41:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really love how this flows...
Very powerful...
~Brookie Cookie |
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Re: Judgement Day
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Saturday, 7th July 2007 @ 02:46:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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the anger and frustration is well expressed in this and it has a very good flow to it.. great job
vampyress Jenni |
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